Letter to the Editor: Original dish
SIR  In 1813 Sir Thomas Bernard published a pamphlet, An Account of a Supply of Fish for the Manufacturing Poor, which proposed to ameliorate the poverty among working people in London by increasing the supply of fish.
A Fish Association was duly set up under the chairmanship of the Duke of Kent.
In one report the association described the success of the fish industry in Penzance, mentioning that the shortage of corn lead to its replacement by increased potato planting.
So there you have it: fish and chips were a West Country invention.
BILL WEST Exeter, Devon
Leading Article: Horses for courses
FOR THE thoughtful punter, with cash in hand, at least two openings present themselves this morning  the Grand National and next week's General Election.
Weighing his chances, the punter will naturally examine respective odds.
There is nothing at Aintree much shorter than 6 to 1, whereas the two main parties in the General Election are offered on narrower terms.
There are also minor differences of which to take account.
A gambler, taking a sudden fancy to Mr Kinnock and planting 25,000 on Labour  not a course we recommend  will be felt instantly in this modest market, and shift the odds overnight.
He would make less stir in the larger Aintree pool.
There remains one major difference between the punter's chances with, say, Cool Ground or Twin Oaks at Aintree and his prospects with Messrs Major, Kinnock or Ashdown.
No one in their senses puts money on a horse other than in the hope of winning money.
The political punter, though, bets more with his heart than his head.
If he is the sort of man who wears a red rose in his buttonhole every day, loyalty will drive him to have a bet on Mr Kinnock, regardless of his chances.
Yesterday we observed that Mr Jeffrey Archer (whose idea of canvassing for the Tory Party has revived the lost art of burlesque) had bet 10 that the Tories will win with a majority of 27 seats.
It illustrates our point beautifully.
Mr Archer publicly signals his confidence in the Tory Party  though, judging by the stake, without any great hope of enriching himself, or any risk of alarming his bank manager.
He would do better at Aintree.
Peterborough: Run out
CRICKET'S European championship is generating as much heat as the recent World Cup.
Organisers of the event, to be held here in July, have banned a team for being of too high a standard.
Guernsey made short work of the opposition when they won the event on home soil in 1990.
Chris Bazalgette of The Cricketer magazine, the organisers, says: ' They wanted to enter again but we didn't invite them. '
England are also excluded  the cup is strictly for amateurs  but Italy, Malta, Belgium and Greece will be padding up.
' The Greeks are absolutely fearless, ' says Bazalgette.
' They dive all over the place.
The rest of their game is colourful  Mediterranean, I'd say. '
THE following exchange was overheard (I swear) by a reader from Quainton, Bucks, in his local pub.
' Charlie's funeral, Monday. '
' Was' e dead, then? '
' No, they be taking him up the churchyard to see if ' e likes it. '
Odd Man Out: The man who carries the can
By MARTYN HARRIS
AT 1.15 I call the AA to ask can I borrow a patrolman for the afternoon, and at 1.45 he's at the door with sewn-in trouser creases and a shiny van, packed tight as an egg with tools and spares.
' Mark Roke, ' he says, offering a clean hand.
The man who can.
The speed may be just because I 'm press, of course  Which? magazine said this week the AA is slowest of the big motoring organisations to answer a call.
' But we always try to get the car going, ' says Mark.
' A lot of them that works on commission just say there's nothing they can do and call in the tow-truck. '
Not that he will name any names.
He's a very nice man.
On our first call, from a dreadlocked Rastaman, we are faced with a clapped-out Mini Clubman.
Mark says that if it's a fuel leak I can chuck down a lighted match, but I can tell he's only joking.
Lots of people with old bangers use the AA instead of basic maintenance, and this is the Rastaman's second call-out of the day for a flat battery.
Mark props the rusted bonnet of the Mini with an iron bar, jump-starts it with a pair of wrist-thick wires, and we are away.
' He won't get far, so if he turns left at these lights we go right, ' says Mark, but it's only his sense of humour showing.
As the dash-mounted computer pecks out our next job on its paper roll, Mark runs through his daily routine for me.
Commonest call-outs are flat batteries first thing in the morning, flat tyres any time, and at weekends the woman shopper with her keys locked in the car.
Effecting an entry, this is called, and a job for Slim Jim, the flexible steel ruler owned by every mechanic and car thief, which, shoved down the side of the driver's door glass, will open anything from a Jeep to a Jaguar.
JOB two is a Fiat Panda in Finchley, losing power on hills according to the owner.
' Frayed clutch cable most likely, ' says Mark before we pull up and I 'm profoundly impressed when we find it is.
Job three is a scatty old lady with an NS on the computer roll, meaning non-start, and an automatic garage door.
' Careful you press the right button, ' says Mark.
' I rang what I thought was the doorbell once and nearly cut this geezer's Mercedes in half with his up-and-over. '
The scatty lady has left her passenger door fractionally open all night and the courtesy light has drained the battery, which takes Mark about two seconds to figure.
' Always pays to think simple. '
For a soft-shoulder Sunday mechanic like me it would have taken all day, but most of the jobs are incredibly simple to the man who can, who served his time with Ford and spent years at London Transport.
People like me are a menace to the AA men, calling them out on Sunday afternoon to rebuild engines that we idly began to dismantle on Sunday morning.
' Either they hands you a boxful of bits and says' These seem to be left over ' or they swear they never touched the car, when you can see all the leads are on back-to-front. '
MEMBERS!
They call you out to snowswept motorway verges at four in the morning, talk to you through a quarter-inch crack in the window and drive off when you've finished, without a word.
Single women get priority from the AA, so many's the girl will hide her boyfriend behind the hedge to get a faster call-out.
Get stuck into an engine without confiscating the car keys, and plenty of drivers will start the motor out of curiosity to see what an AA man looks like without any hands.
When you apply to become an AA man they give you six broken cars to get started in half-an-hour.
Five minutes per car, but Mark hardly takes more than 15 seconds over our jobs, and nobody waits more than 30 minutes.
The only technical challenge of the day is at the home of a lawyer, whose Peugeot 405 has conked out at the bottom of a steep drive.
Mark eliminates starter motor, battery, alternator, and ignition coil, and fixes in the end on an obscure switch which isolates the electrics from the gearbox and would have taken me a month to find  but, for the man who can, about three minutes.
Last job is an ancient Granada with a jammed starter, driven by another man who has already called the AA once today.
Mark frees the starter with a swift smack from the iron bar, which is the only tool I see him use all day, and gently ticks off the driver, who seems lacking in gratitude or humility.
' You will go and get another motor this time now, won't you? '
And then, as he drives away: ' We 'll see him again soon, don't worry. '
Members!
Bayern set to win
By Malcolm Pein, Chess Correspondent
BAYERN MUNCHEN, favourites for the European Club Cup, are poised to win the German Bundesliga, the world's strongest league competition.
In last weekend's round of matches Bayern defeated Porz, who led the league by one point.
The match went Bayern's way 4.5C3.5 after their top two boards, the German No 2 Robert Hubner and Artur Yusupov of Russia, both won.
Two foreign players are allowed to play for each team and many English international masters and grandmasters go to Germany to play several times a year.
Solingen boasts three English GMs: Nigel Short, John Nunn and Murray Chandler.
Last weekend Murray Chandler scored 1.5C2 in Solingen's victories over Empor Berlin 6C2 and Halle 4.5C3.5.
Chandler defeated GM Malich, formerly of East Germany, and drew with the Russian GM Victor Chekhov.
Bundesliga: Leading scores with two rounds to play: Bayern Munchen 25/26; Porz 24/26; Solingen 20/26.
Teams score 2 points for a win and 1 point for a 4C4 draw.
Board results of the strongest club match played this year: GM Hubner 1C0 GM Christiansen; GM Yusupov 1C0 GM Lutz; GM Ribli DRAW GM Hort; GM Hertneck DRAW GM Vaganian; GM Bonsch 0C1 GM Hickl; GM Bischoff 1C0 GM Knaak; IM Stangl 0C1 GM Vogt; IM Schlosser DRAW IM Jackelen; 4.5C3.5 England's strongest league, the London League, was effectively decided on Tuesday when King's Head, based at the pub of the same name in Moscow Road, Bayswater, achieved a 5C2 lead in the first session of play against Wood Green.
Second-placed Wood Green needed to win the match to overhaul King's Head who, led by England No 2 Jon Speelman, have gone through undefeated.
Wood Green's challenge was never likely to succeed after two players arrived 61 minutes late and were declared lost on time.
The Grand National: Speedy Willsford carries maximum confidence
Tony Stafford finds overwhelming evidence for asecond victory byJenny Pitman inthe Grand National
By TONY STAFFORD
WILLSFORD, whose careful preparation this season has been timed to bring him to his peak on Martell Grand National day, will carry maximum stable confidence at Liverpool today.
Endless debate and speculation about the likely state of the going will count for nothing when the 40 runners line up at 4pm.
The general consensus is that few horses should be inconvenienced by the ground.
Only 11 of the 40 horses are inside the scope of the true handicap, but Willsford, who carries just 3lb more than his proper mark, must be considered well treated.
He won the 1990 Midlands Grand National, from a handicap mark of 136, by 15 lengths, yet runs off 138 today.
The Uttoxeter race last month, when he was third to today's rival Laura's Beau, will have brought him to full racing fitness after just four runs (two over hurdles) in the intervening 23 months.
Throughout his career, Willsford has specialised in spectacular performances.
He won two novice hurdles by wide margins in his first campaign, and then two novice chases the following winter before running away with the County Hurdle at Cheltenham from a field which included the smart mare Travel Mystery.
Apart from his Midlands Grand National triumph in 1990 he also gained a verdict over Norton's Coin at Cheltenham  two months before that horse's Gold Cup success  and would have been an easy winner of the Greenall Whitley Chase but for falling when clear at the last fence.
That remains his only fall, and it was more a case of a slip one stride after landing than a regulation fall.
The Pitman yard, which has done so well in this race  one winner, a second and two thirds since 1983  believe he will adapt to the unique Aintree fences, and as long as he copes with the first few, they feel he must go close.
My opinion is that, as long as Willsford is among the leaders coming to the last two fences and six furlongs, his speed will be a potent weapon, especially as he carries the minimum weight.
Victory for Willsford would give Michael Bowlby, Mrs Pitman's brother-in-law, his biggest win.
Bowlby has been under pressure ever since the Cheltenham Gold Cup, over his riding tactics on Golden Freeze, coincidentally brought down at The Chair in Thursday's John Hughes Memorial Chase here.
The Gold Cup has had a greater than usual bearing in the Grand National build-up this year, with Cool Ground, the winner, and Docklands Express, the close third, renewing rivalry.
Adrian Maguire's injury robs the young Irishman of the chance of a rare double, and the prospects of Cool Ground, now to be ridden by Martin Lynch, may not be quite as obvious as the ground dries.
But Cool Ground is a dour stayer with a wealth of experience, who should adapt to Aintree.
The change in conditions has added to the confidence behind Docklands Express and Brown Windsor.
Both have run in a previous Grand National, Brown Windsor finishing a remote fourth when favourite two years ago, and Docklands Express a first-fence faller 12 months ago.
Since that lapse, Docklands Express has won the Whitbread Gold Cup (controversially, on the disqualification of Cahervillahow) and the Racing Post Chase, and finished second in the King George VI Chase in addition to his fine Gold Cup display.
The booking of Peter Scudamore in place of the luckless Anthony Tory means his chance is not impaired, but his price is likely to be significantly cramped.
Brown Windsor, also a Whitbread Gold Cup winner, in 1989, is trained by Lambourn-based Nicky Henderson, who has gone close in the Grand National on several occasions.
Victory for Brown Windsor would be universally popular.
Like Henderson, Arthur Stephenson, has been agonisingly close at Aintree, particularly with the evergreen Durham Edition.
He relies on Stay On Tracks, a consistent stayer who has the benefit of the fearless Chris Grant's assistance from the saddle.
Twin Oaks, who heads the weights, was the fancy of many for Aintree glory as he continued a brilliant sequence of handicap wins at Haydock Park.
But his latest third there behind Cool Ground in the Greenalls Gold Cup suggests he will find the Gold Cup winner too strong again on these terms.
Seagram, last year's winner, has been a long way behind that excellence this season, as has Bonanza Boy, the 1991 favourite, whose desertion by Peter Scudamore was clearly influenced by the drying conditions.
Bonanza Boy's trainer Martin Pipe fancies Huntworth ahead of Bonanza Boy and Omerta, the Irish National winner who makes a belated seasonal reappearance.
The 11th-hour acquisition by Mrs David Thompson, wife of the owner of Cheveley Park Stud, of Roc de Prince and Party Politics, may be in vain, again on the expectation of near-perfect going.
Auntie Dot, third 12 months ago, Rawhide and New Halen, are others to consider, as is the consistent Romany King, second-string for the Toby Balding stable behind Cool Ground, and a good fourth in the Ritz Club Chase at Cheltenham last time.
Those looking for a rank outsider at rewarding odds may do worse than invest a little each-way on New Halen, who was still in contention when unseating his rider a mile from home last year.
He won the Mildmay of Flete at Cheltenham two years ago at 66C1 and could give Robert Bellamy a memorable ride.
Irish horses have found Aintree unpromising territory, but Laura's Beau and the talented Rawhide could make an impact.
In the hope that Willsford adapts to the place, I take him to come home first, ahead of Cool Ground, Brown Windsor and Stay On Tracks.
The Grand National: Romany is Day's Best
By Course Correspondent
ROMANY KING*, a model of consistency who has been placed in all but one of his 21 races over fences, may prove the value bet in today's Martell Grand National (4.0) at Aintree.
He shaped well when fourth behind Tipping Tim at Cheltenham and appears to have been given an ideal build-up.
Last ' O ' The Bunch may be hard to peg back in the Martell Aintree Chase (2.20); Propero can spring a surprise in the Martell Aintree Hurdle (3.5) and Errant Knight is fancied for the Chivas Regal Chase (4.55).
The Grand National: Dunwoody bounces back
By JOHN OAKSEY
REMI ANCE MAN, ridden by Richard Dunwoody, and Bradbury Star, the mount of Eamon Murphy, held centre stage at Aintree yesterday, writes John Oaksey.
The controversial Mildmay fences posed no problems they could not solve and, eight months in advance, everything is set for an enthralling Boxing Day confrontation in the King George VI Rank Chase at Kempton Park.
Trainers Nicky Henderson and Josh Gifford both named that race as their target and neither horse will run again this season.
Dunwoody's day started badly with a fall on Gambling Royal and, setting out on Remittance Man for the Mumm Melling Chase, he must have had the fences more than usually in mind.
Uncle Ernie's fall at the first was hardly reassuring but Remittance Man soon put his rider's mind at rest.
A proud Henderson said: ' Fast or slow, he can do it either way.
But the faster they go the better. '
Sure enough, undisturbed by a slow early gallop, Remittance Man's jumping warmed up from good to brilliant.
He must be a dreadful horse to chase, and Pat's Jester and Edberg were left struggling.
Eamon Murphy, with his elder brother Declan suspended, seized his opportunity in polished style on Bradbury Star in the Mumm Mildmay Chase.
But despite the fine finish in which Bradbury Star held Jodami, the abiding memory of this race will be the ride Peter Scudamore gave Run For Free.
The blunder he survived at the 15th fence would have sent 99 men out of 100 into orbit.
Then, rescued by the invisible safety net of his own strength and balance, this amazing champion drove Run For Free back into contention.
Their distant third was worth a dozen victories.
The equally indomitable Dunwoody had his second fall of the day on Calabrese and completed a painful hat-trick when King of The Lot unseated him in the Tote 7th Handicap Chase, won by Howe Street.
In the circumstances, Dunwoody, who escaped with nothing worse than bruises, was performing a miracle of tolerant good sense when he suggested that the Mildmay fences' should perhaps be a bit more sloped and not quite so square at the top. '
As Josh Gifford also pointed out, one root of the problem is that the Mildmay course has, until now, been used only once a year.
It is hardly surprising that horses, accustomed to brushing through well-worn fences, should find these brand-new, hard-packed ones uninviting.
John Parrett, the clerk of the course, still regards his fences as' perfectly fair ' and confirms that, built to strict Jockey Club standards, they were passed by Ron Barry, the Inspector of Courses.
' But we will always consider constructive criticism, ' Parrett said.
I hope he may yet accept the general view that, on this sharp track and fast going, the obstacles should be a trifle softer and more invitingly built.
After the first-race fall of Sibton Abbey, his trainer Ferdy Murphy did not put it quite so politely.
' These fences are simply not acceptable, ' he said, and promptly withdrew Fiddle A Little from today's engagement.
But however aggrieved Murphy felt, he must surely have ended the day a proud and happy man.
His 27-year-old son Paul has had only 10 rides, but watching him win the Martell Fox Hunters' Chase on that splendid 13-year-old Gee-A, nobody could possibly have guessed it.
Gee-A and his rider ought to share the honours with another 13-year-old, Raise An Argument, and his rider Andrew Sansome.
Even Scudamore would have been proud of Sansome's recovery at the Chair.
The Grand National: My best chance yet
By Peter Scudamore
AN OUNCE of luck is always welcome in racing and I have to admit that I feel the most fortunate man around this morning having been asked to ride Docklands Express in the Grand National  a race I have never won.
The fact is that if I hadn't taken part in the BBC television previews of the big event I would probably be riding my old friend Bonanza Boy.
The whole story is that I was asked to ride Docklands Express, Cool Ground, Auntie Dot and Bonanza Boy in home gallops for the television cameras and then to compare the quartet.
Not many other jockeys are so lucky.
Even leading up to the filming, there were doubts about Adrian Maguire riding Cool Ground as he had a previous tie to Omerta.
Also, Anthony Tory, regular jockey for Docklands Express, had been having trouble with his shoulder for a while, and Mark Perrett, another of the horse's regular riders, had been claimed for Rubika.
I can remember vividly the whole episode with Docklands Express.
It was our first morning of filming and when I rode the horse I really liked him.
He felt great, he worked with class and he had the right attitude.
I thought: ' This is the one. '
When we had finished filming I said to Kim Bailey, the trainer: ' If you ever need somebody to ride this little horse, I would love to be considered. '
How quickly things change in racing and change they certainly have this week.
When I rode Docklands Express in his work, I was thinking I would probably be having my fourth Grand National ride on Bonanza Boy  then there were reports of rain across the country, which made me feel quite satisfied to be on Martin Pipe's runner.
He knows his way around the course and, with any luck, I felt the ground would come up soft.
However, when I got to Liverpool on Thursday and saw the state of the ground, instead of thinking about such horses as Laura's Beau, Rubika and Cool Ground as the major chances, suddenly it was the good-ground types such as Docklands Express who re-entered calculations.
When I sat on Cool Ground I was impressed with him too.
He had not been prepared for Cheltenham the same as some horses are, because there had been a last-minute change of plan for him and he would not have been really galloped hard.
Racing against other horses is an entirely different thing from riding horses in their work and it is not always the ones who work the best that are necessarily the winners.
In fact, Cool Ground worked with Romany King and Sirrah Jay, and they actually worked better than he did.
Although, when we came back from one of our canters, Cool Ground was very bright.
He really marched in and he pulled 20 lengths ahead of the other two just walking.
He is in great form.
The other interesting runner I rode was Auntie Dot, particularly as she has the advantage of being schooled over a National-type fence on her trainer John Webber's gallops.
With the TV cameras there, Julian Wilson asked Mr Webber if I could pop her over the fence.
I joked about a jockey needing a large port and brandy to do that sort of thing cold in the morning  and besides we might be risking the horse suffering a mishap.
' You let me worry about any injuries my horse might suffer, ' said Mr Webber.
I thought to myself: ' Oh no ' but Auntie Dot went into the fence and was brilliant at it.
Originally I thought the ground might be too soft for her, making it a real test of stamina, and we know that she only just gets the trip.
But as the ground is a lot quicker now, she must have a bright chance.
Bonanza Boy, one of my old favourites, has been a remarkable horse over the years and I am a touch sad in having to desert him for a horse I consider to have a better chance.
But Martin Pipe is a realist, and never for a moment did he stand in my way when the Docklands Express ride came up.
Bonanza Boy will have blinkers back on and this may assist him.
He knows the place so well and is a real hardy customer.
I suppose I am in a good position to weigh up the prospects of the major contenders in today's race, at least, and I have no hesitation in declaring my delight at being on Docklands Express.
On the Form Book and after riding him, I consider Docklands Express to be a first-class prospect.
Twin Oaks looks a great type for the fences and may be the hardest to beat but I also have a healthy respect for Cool Ground and Brown Windsor.
This racing game can be funny, can't it?
I set off as a television test pilot and have ended up with my best-ever chance of winning the race.
The Grand National: Davies hoping to go far
By John Oaksey
WISHFUL thinking is a notoriously expensive way of choosing winners.
So the fact that, like all Sir Hugh Dundas's friends and admirers, I would love to see Ghofar win him today's Martell Grand National does not, unfortunately, mean it will happen.
But never mind.
There have been miracles at Aintree before, and Ghofar, fit and fresh, may just have a better each-way chance than his odds of 33C1 suggest.
A nine-year-old, he is the ideal age and will be ridden by Hywel Davies for the first time since they won the 1989 Hennessy Cognac Gold Cup.
Ghofar has a good deal in common with Last Suspect, the 50C1 shot on whom this sagacious Welshman won the 1985 Grand National.
Both horses are ' thinkers'  in the sense that a lot depends on what goes on inside their heads.
Last Suspect, an inveterate tail-swisher, often used to sulk and pull himself up if he did not like the way a race seemed to be going.
But having talked his reluctant owner and trainer into running, Davies proceeded to kid and cajole their unpredictable 11-year-old into running the race of his life.
He achieved a comparable masterpiece on Ghofar in the 1989 Hennessy (their only previous effort together) and plans another this afternoon.
' It is all a question of mind over matter, ' Davies says  ' just like Last Suspect.
I shall want a good start and be up there over the first few fences.
' You have to motivate horses like these, but once I've got Ghofar's blood up, we should be cruising.
My only worry is that, with the ground drying up, they might go so fast that he gets disheartened.
But I 'm really looking forward to the ride. '
For Ghofar's owners, most of the ' motivation ' has come from the horse's trainer David Elsworth.
Neither Hugh Dundas, his wife (who is my sister), nor their American partner Don Tafner were at all keen to run in the first place.
They did not enjoy Aintree two years ago and did not think that Ghofar (who was unplaced to Mr Frisk) enjoyed himself much either.
But like so many owners, they have learnt from experience that when David Elsworth takes a view about horses, it seldom pays to disagree.
Nine times out of 10, however improbably, he turns out to be right.
Elsworth, who blames himself for ' choosing the wrong race ' for Ghofar twice this season, is now convinced the horse is a much more adaptable jumper than the rather hesitant seven-year-old Brendan Powell rode in 1990.
Ghofar, incurably idle at home, has not run since February.
But he was taken last month to Bill Wightman's gallops on the lovely downland on which the great Halloween was trained.
Elsworth says: ' A new place gees him up a bit.
We went two miles  not quite like Halloween perhaps but still not bad.
He is fit and there won't be a healthier-looking horse in the field. '
GHOFAR'S gleaming coat is left unclipped for the excellent reason that, like the immortal Crisp, he won't allow a clipping machine near him.
If only he could inherit a few more of the great Australian chaser's foibles, this afternoon's first prize would be in the bag.
Instead, as David Elsworth admits, ' with Gold Cup horses giving him only a few pounds, it is asking an awful lot.
By modern standards, this is a hard National to win. '
It may well be, but the question of how much the Gold Cup took out of Cool Ground and Docklands Express will only be answered when the heat is on.
The dismal post-war record of Gold Cup winners is hard to ignore and Cool Ground is no Prince Regent.
A much fresher horse who has been trained for this all season is Brown Windsor, fourth two years ago.
Unless it rains, the ground should suit him fine, and Richard Dunwoody showed on Thursday just how priceless his assistance can be.
Now that Party Politics has been sold  reportedly for an offer Mr Stoddart would have been insane to refuse  Brown Windsor and Auntie Dot are the only two runners bred by their owners.
That puts them firmly into my ' wishful thinking ' group but strictly on form, they are still sensible selections.
Brown Windsor, I regret to add, is extremely well handicapped with Ghofar.
Willsford would be my other suggestion.
He would probably like it softer, but whatever your view of Mrs Pitman, his trainer, as a strategist and communicator, there is no doubt at all of her ability to train Grand National horses.
Good luck to all of them, and how wonderful it would be if, even when things get tight towards the end, the Jockey Club guidelines on the whip could be remembered.
It is in this, British jumping's most widely publicised showcase, that their observance is most vital.
Soccer: Peterboro promotion set-back
PETERBOROUGH's promotion hopes were dented when they lost 3C0 at lowly Wigan  and they also had striker Steve Cooper sent off for dissent.
Alan Johnson put the home side ahead in the first half with Kevin Langley and Gary Worthington adding further goals after the interval.
Bournemouth's play-off ambitions received a lift with a 2C0 win over Chester, courtesy of brilliant solo goals from Paul Wood and Efan Ekoku.
Two goals from Wayne Biggins kept Stoke on course for the Third Division title with a 3C0 home win over Darlington.
Biggins scored from the penalty spot after only 10 minutes and added another soon after before Mark Stein completed the scoring.
Fourth Division bottom club Doncaster completed the double over Wrexham by winning 2C1 at the Racecourse Ground and have now won three in a row.
Old Etonians and Old Chigwellians meet in the final of the Arthur Dunn Cup at the London University Ground, Motspur Park, today.
Chigwellians are appearing in their fourth final, having last won the cup in 1980, while this is Etonians' second appearance.
They were beaten 6C1 by Old Salopians in 1952.
Soccer: Foley and 11 others sacked as cuts bite
By John Ley
THEO FOLEY, manager of Fourth Division Northampton, became a victim of the club's financial problems yesterday when he was dismissed by the administrators put in charge of affairs at the County Ground.
Nine players and two back-room staff were also released by the administrators, who are attempting to save more than 350,000 in 17 weeks.
The drastic cuts come a week after Aldershot were wound up and rekindle fears for several Fourth Division clubs facing closure.
In March, Northampton won a two-month breather from a winding-up order on more than 13,000 owed to a printing firm.
But the club's liabilities on Dec 31 were 1,162,306, of which they owed the Inland Revenue 126,368.
The players, who will receive little compensation, have been in contact with the Professional Footballers' Association.
Mr Foley, formerly assistant to George Graham at Arsenal, said: ' It was my 55th birthday yesterday and this is no way to celebrate.
' I felt it might come close to something like this.
But I am sad that the compensation has been cleverly worked out so we receive very little. '
The players affected are Peter Gleasure, Trevor Quow, Irvin Gernon, Adrian Thorpe, Greg Campbell, Dave Johnson, David Scope, Darren Wood and Kevin Wilkin.
The club's game at Barnet goes ahead with player Phil Chard in temporary charge.
Birmingham City were yesterday fined 50,000 and ordered to play two games behind closed doors following the riot at St Andrews in February, though the punishment is suspended until the end of next season.
The penalty comes after an invasion involving around 2,000 Birmingham supporters, who took to the pitch at the end of the Third Division game against Stoke.
Wimbledon manager Joe Kinnear has been charged by the FA with misconduct for the second time this year.
Mr Kinnear appeals later this month against an 1,800 fine imposed after an incident involving match officials at a reserve game.
Now he must face the FA again, accused of verbally abusing a linesman following last week's defeat by Arsenal.
Soccer: Sunderland have experience to reach Wembley FA CUP SEMI-FINALS
Liverpool unlikely to allow historic Second Division double
By Colin Gibson
IF THE romantics have their way, Jim Smith and Malcolm Crosby will lead their teams out to create a piece of FA Cup final history on May 9.
But while the FA Cup can still turn dreams into reality, the Second Division might have to settle for one representative at Wembley after tomorrow's semi-finals.
It is not always the best side that wins an FA Cup semi-final; in the main, it is normally the most experienced team that succeeds.
That could be the vital ingredient for Sunderland as they attempt to embarrass Norwich and the Roker Park directors at Hillsborough by producing the club's best result in 19 years.
Since Mr Crosby became their caretaker-manger, Sunderland have undergone a remarkable change of fortune, and that improved form has never been more obvious than in the Cup.
They have already knocked out First Division West Ham and Chelsea and, in this cluttered sporting weekend, Norwich could be another faller.
Though Norwich reached the FA Cup semi-final at Villa Park in 1989, they were left with only three survivors from the team which lost to Everton when Ian Crook withdrew yesterday.
Dave Stringer, the Norwich manager, recalls that Everton's greater experience was the decisive factor.
' They were much more relaxed than we were, ' he said.
' They had seen it all before. '
Norwich lost key components of their team in the run-up to the Everton game  just as they have for tomorrow's tie.
Three years ago Mike Phelan, now with Manchester United, was injured and Robert Fleck was given compassionate leave after his father died on the eve of the game.
Tomorrow Fleck is again likely to be absent unless he overcomes an aversion to pain-killers and injections, while Scottish international goalkeeper Bryan Gunn is a long-term casualty.
In contrast, Sunderland have a rich seam of experienced players, among them Paul Bracewell, who played for Everton in the 1989 semi-final.
Bracewell has been a three-times loser in FA Cup finals, but this season his vault of knowledge has been a key factor  especially in the recovery at Stamford Bridge against Chelsea.
John Byrne, who equalised that night, Peter Davenport, Welsh international Tony Norman and Northern Ireland's Anton Rogan, a Scottish Cup-winner with Celtic, all provide Sunderland with essential experience.
It is a factor that Mr Crosby recognises: ' Tactics can win you these games, but more often than not it is whether the players have the experience and the bottle. '
It will be a strange afternoon for the directors from Roker Park.
Should Sunderland win, the pressure to appoint Mr Crosby as full-time manager will increase.
They have shown a stubborn reluctance to take that course so far, which leads to the belief that they have already promised the job elsewhere.
Mr Crosby said: ' I also have 10 important League matches left and have said all along that if we don't win these as well I can not expect to be given the job here. '
It would, Mr Crosby appreciates, be wonderful to leave Sunderland, a club he has worshipped since he was a boy, as FA Cup finalists.
To leave them as Cup-holders might require a miracle.
Despite their unusually erratic season, it has been hard to argue against the premise that Liverpool's name might already be on the Cup.
Though they may never have been more vulnerable  as Peterborough demonstrated in the Rumbelows Cup  Liverpool are the most experienced team in the last four of the FA Cup.
While Mr Smith will have the sympathy vote at Highbury, he admits: ' It will be a major upset if we beat them.
I saw them against Genoa and I was very impressed.
' If that was a poor performance, then I just have to hope that they don't play well against us at Highbury.
If we don't get our attitude right we will get turned over. '
But Portsmouth will find it difficult to stop Graeme Souness filling the only serious gap in his footballing career.
He never won the FA Cup as a player, nor reached the final.
Now, in his first FA Cup campaign as a manager, all that could alter.
NON-LEAGUE SOCCER
Colchester eye double
By Peter Ernest
COLCHESTER'S quest to become only the second club to complete the non-League double continues today, with a 6,000-plus crowd expected at Layer Road for the Vauxhall FA Trophy semi-final clash with Macclesfield.
Leaders of the GM Vauxhall Conference, Colchester are 5C4 favourites to emulate Wealdstone's double feat of 1985 and go into today's first-leg seeking the first domestic trophy in their 55-year history.
Apart from scoring 98 goals in all competitions this season, Colchester also have an outstanding defence, with no goals conceded in 23 of their 47 games.
Macclesfield, inaugural winners of the competition in 1970, lie below halfway in the Conference, having found the net only 35 times in 34 games.
But in five Trophy ties they have conceded only one goal.
Witton Albion, the Conference newcomers, are involved in the other Trophy semi-final against Merseyside club Marine, of the HSF Loans League.
Wycombe will draw level on points with Colchester if they win their Conference match at Farnborough this afternoon.
SATURDAY PROFILE Man for all seasons sees out winter of discontent DAVE STRINGER
By Colin Gibson
WHEN Dave Stringer glances across to the Sunderland bench at Hillsborough tomorrow he will have some sympathy for Sunderland's Malcolm Crosby.
Mr Stringer, 48, began his managerial apprenticeship at Carrow Road five years ago in similar circumstances to those Mr Crosby is facing at Roker Park.
Though he survived and prospered, there have been times this season when the chances of Mr Stringer lasting as Norwich manager until FA Cup semi-final day seemed remote.
In mid-February Norwich appeared on the verge of crisis.
They had slipped down the First Division, losing five consecutive League matches.
The fans became restless and the soccer grapevine was alive with names of likely successors to Mr Stringer.
So intense did the criticism become that Mr Stringer, who has been connected as player, coach and now manager with Norwich for almost 30 years, took the unprecedented step of going on national radio to defend himself and his players.
Had Norwich not defeated Notts County in the fifth round that afternoon, it could well have been Mr Stringer's first and last address to the nation's footballing public.
But win Norwich did and they have since gone on to preserve their First Division lives and reach the FA Cup semi-finals.
Mr Stringer now appears relatively safe, but he could have been the victim of his own success.
After taking over from Ken Brown in the winter of 1987 he guided the club to unexpected heights.
The day he walked into the manager's office Norwich were bottom of the First Division and relegation was more a probability than possibility.
Within 18 months he had taken the club to the FA Cup semi-final and their highest League position in the club's 87-year history.
Suddenly a soccer backwater had tasted success but, as Mr Stringer readily admits: ' We have always had the problem of being sidetracked. '
This season threatened to be another one of disruptive distractions.
After reaching the Rumbelows Cup quarter-final, Norwich's season ' stood still '.
It was then that the club's management co-operative gave Mr Stringer so much support, and the relationship is now reciprocated with Mr Stringer only too happy for the role of coaches Dave Williams and Mike Walker to be appreciated.
' We all contribute, ' he said without the slightest hint of a bruised ego.
' We all have our roles to play and I am delighted that people like Dave Williams should receive the credit for their work. '
But he also recognises that part of his role is to accept the criticism.
' I know that comes with the job, ' he said.
' If I am the target, though, I can be the shield so that others can carry on with their jobs.
' I might understand it but I don't know anyone who enjoys the criticism.
You would have to be a masochist to do that. '
Despite the disquiet at the club this year, Mr Stringer still appears more relaxed and more in control than he did when he first took charge in that winter of 1987.
' It was not really the normal way of getting a manager's job.
The circumstances were very similar to those the lad at Sunderland finds himself in now, ' he said.
' The position almost evolved. '
Unlike Mr Crosby, the Norwich manager did not have the groundswell of support when he was appointed.
If the fans had been given their choice, Mel Machin, then at Manchester City, would have been offered the job.
It seems that Mr Stringer has never really enjoyed a close relationship with the supporters since, but that could all change at Hillsborough tomorrow afternoon.
For the management careers of both Dave Stringer and Malcolm Crosby, this is likely to be a crucial semi-final.
SOCCERDIARY Press box king rewriting the record books
By Colin Malam
SHOULD Portsmouth beat Liverpool in tomorrow's FA Cup semi-final and reach Wembley, Mike Neasom, football and cricket writer for The News, Portsmouth, will prepare to visit the 95th English ground at which he has covered Pompey.
Mr Neasom, 57, must have set some kind of record since 1974, when he began reporting Portsmouth matches.
The club's travels up and down the four divisions in the last 18 years have helped, and he completed the full set of 92 grounds at Watford three or four years ago.
The total has increased because Mr Neasom has covered Bradford City v Portsmouth at Odsal as well as Valley Parade, and Bristol Rovers v Portsmouth at both Eastville and Twerton Park, Bath.
So what price the ton?
' I suppose I could do it, ' says Mr Neasom.
' I've not been to the new grounds at Walsall and Scunthorpe, Maidstone's ground, or covered a League match at Barnet.
Then there's the question of whether an extra club comes up from the Vauxhall Conference to replace Aldershot and the possibility of clubs moving to new grounds. '
A lifelong Portsmouth fan, Mr Neasom watched his first First Division match at Fratton Park in 1947.
' Obviously, this semi-final is one of the highlights, ' he says.
' But I won't be leaping out of my seat if Pompey win.
You just don't do that in the press box. '
IF tomorrow's semi-final between Liverpool and Portsmouth at Highbury requires a replay, it will have to wait until a week on Monday, because of Thursday's General Election.
Originally, the replay was scheduled for next Wednesday at Villa Park, but West Midlands Police objected, pointing out they did not have the manpower to handle a match of that magnitude on the eve of polling day.
PLEASURE at the news that Paul Gascoigne is to begin his long-awaited comeback at the end of this month is matched by admiration for an unpublicised example of the Tottenham Terror's generosity off the field.
Gazza recently put up 1,500 of his own money to get Spurs' hospital radio service back on air when shortage of funds forced it to close down.
A total of 3,000 was needed and the player offered to provide half the amount if Tottenham would supply the other half, which they proceeded to do.
GAZZA was the excuse for an April Fool's joke that backfired on Radio Nottingham this week.
The BBC station hoaxed their listeners with a report that the great man was about to sign for Notts County to prove his fitness before joining Lazio in the summer.
Many County supporters believed the interview, in which the England international was impersonated by Radio Nottingham's sports presenter, Martin Fisher.
So when the station came clean, they had to field several angry calls accusing them of pro-Nottingham Forest bias.
TALKING of which, Brian Clough's behaviour can be so eccentric it is possible to believe him capable of almost anything.
Which is another way of saying that what he did, or is said to have done, at Highbury on Tuesday night, takes some believing.
During the thrilling 3C3 draw between Arsenal and Nottingham Forest, Mr Clough was seen to emerge from the Forest dug-out and engage one of the linesmen in animated conversation.
Oh, everyone thought, he's having a go at him about something.
But subsequent inquiries revealed rather a different story.
' Eh, young man, ' Mr Clough is reported to have said, ' we're down in London again on Thursday to play Wimbledon.
Can you recommend a good restaurant? '
ROBERT CHASE, the Norwich City chairman, is proposing to have 16,000 car stickers printed with the legend ' Chase me all the way to Wembley ' on them.
Mind you, Sunderland, of course, could have something to say about that at Hillsborough tomorrow afternoon.
Soccer: Knight hopes for Pompey chimes and no clangers
By Christopher Davies
WHILE television has helped to make heroes out of many players, such as Portsmouth winger Darren Anderton during their FA Cup run, the publicity provided by the cameras can be a double-edged sword.
Alan Knight, Portsmouth's longest-serving player, is only too aware of what television can do to his fellow goalkeepers  not least Liverpool's Bruce Grobbelaar, his opposite number in tomorrow's semi-final.
Second Division Portsmouth are in the Highbury tie courtesy of a dreadful mistake in the quarter-finals by Nottingham Forest's Mark Crossley, who dropped the ball for Alan McLoughlin to score the only goal of the game.
' I'd be a liar if I said this sort of thing has not crossed my mind, ' says Knight.
' I 'm not saying I lose sleep about it, but the prospect of making a howler in front of millions of people is a worry.
' Television has destroyed some goalkeepers.
Crossley's mistake was great for us but devastating for him, and he's no longer in their side.
Allen McKnight [ West Ham ] and Jim Leighton [ Manchester United ] have also suffered.
' A goalkeeper is in the most visible position of all.
He can either be a hero or the biggest idiot in the world.
But this day is something I've dreamed of since I was a kid and I just want to enjoy it.
I don't want to speak too soon, but I think I've been fairly consistent this season. '
On any other day, Knight would hope Grobbelaar plays a blinder and is on the winning side.
Ever since he watched Grobbelaar play for Crewe at Fratton Park 13 years ago, Knight has been an admirer of the extrovert Zimbabwe international.
' He gets a lot of stick about his mistakes but he's very positive and has the confidence to keep coming for the ball.
I think he won Liverpool the game [ FA Cup quarter-final ] against Aston Villa.
' I remember seeing him when I was an apprentice and even then it was obvious what a good goalkeeper he'd be.
' I've not modelled myself on Bruce.
I 'm not one to do double somersaults  I 'm not that acrobatic  but he's one of the best in the country and has been for a long time.
' I've met him at a couple of PFA functions and when it was my testimonial he sent some things down to be raffled.
Considering I hardly knew the guy, it was a very nice touch.
' People call him a clown after he's made a mistake, but in my mind he's a master goalkeeper.
Such is his make-up that he will come for just about any centre because he believes he can reach the ball.
I wish I had his self-confidence.
' Because Liverpool are on television such a lot he's had to pay the price, as any errors have been magnified.
But I think he's an outstanding goalkeeper. '
He stops short of hoping Grobbelaar makes one of his increasingly frequent mistakes tomorrow, but Knight is professional enough to know that a team has to take advantage of any breaks that come their way.
Knight, 30, may not have enjoyed the success Grobbelaar has, but his career has rarely had a dull moment since he signed as a 14-year-old schoolboy when Ian St John was manager.
' At that time it was SOS Pompey and the club were said to have only a week to survive.
They were selling bits of turf to keep going.
' I played in the last game in the Third Division before we were relegated to the Fourth.
I have played all the way through to the First Division, where we lasted only one season before relegation.
' Our fans have been waiting a long time for a game like Sunday 's.
We were in the First Division far too fleetingly and this is an opportunity for everyone to show what a big club Portsmouth really are. '
ARTHUR DUNN CUP
Etonians can make amends
By DENIS SAUNDERS
OLD Etonians and Old Chigwellians, both enjoying a successful Arthurian League season, fight out the final of the Arthur Dunn Cup at the London University Ground, Motspur Park today, writes Denis Saunders.
Chigwellians are appearing in their fourth final, having last won the cup in 1980, while this is Etonians' second appearance.
They are confident of doing better than their 6C1 failure against Old Salopians in 1952.
Old Chigwellians: A Sweet; P Burbidge, C Sydenham, M Hutchin, D Goddard, G Bryce (capt), J Conolly, A Jefcoat, R Tapper, I Grover, F Davies.
Sub: P Elvin.
Old Etonians: C Yorke; C Barnes, K Angeline Hurl, J Scobie, N Hurd, D Lewis, J Giles (capt), J Ashmore, N Matterson, R Gladstone, D Howell.
Sub: M Arnander.
SPEED SKATING
O'Reilly world record goes
BRITAIN'S world champion, Wilf O'Reilly, last night broke the world record in the 500-metre heats with 44.07 sec, to qualify for the world short-track championships quarter-finals in Denver, writes Cathy Gibb.
RUGBY UNION
Harlequins out to prove critics wrong
By John Mason
PETER WINTERBOTTOM, the club captain, is so intent on Harlequins retaining the Pilkington Cup that yesterday he turned down an invitation to play three centenary matches for a world team against the All Blacks in New Zealand later this month.
Instead, Winterbottom, England's record-breaking flanker, will remain in London with two aims in mind.
First, by beating Leicester in today's Pilkington semi-final at the Stoop to qualify for the final again.
Second, to prove the Quins' critics wrong.
Winterbottom, who normally prefers to let his contributions on the field do the talking for him, said yesterday: ' The Quins get stick from everyone, little of which has any relation to fact.
I can't tell you how much pleasure it would give us to make them eat their words.
' Our league campaign this season was over before it began and I could offer a lot of excuses but won't.
We've not given anything away and if we've been affected by other pressures  England, injuries and the like  then okay.
' The cup suits us in so many ways and at least it has permitted some stability and provided a focal point in the absence of a league challenge. '
Leicester, though beaten in the Courage League match, have won the four previous cup meetings with Quins.
They have a fit Dean Richards at No 8 and a forthright Rory Underwood on the left wing, who will be seeking to complete the most illustrious of careers in fine style.
The key, as ever, will be the performance of either pack and how Leicester's Darren Grewcock, the scrum-half replacement for Aadel Kardooni, fares.
Poole and Johnson v Edwards and Coker should be an immense contest at lock and it will be interesting to see how Richards copes with the challenge of so many England colleagues opposite.
Some pretty firm cases will be stated, too, at Kingsholm, where Bath, who still have an outside chance of the league title, challenge Gloucester.
Although hooker John Hawker is absent, Gloucester's replacement is Kevin Dunn, an England B cap.
Full-back Tim Smith is fit again and if he kicks well, Bath could have problems.
While Bath are awash with caps  nothing less than England B  their secret is fitness.
Pre-match preparation and shrewd organisation have created consistency.
It should be sufficient to take them to a final with Winterbottom and company on May 2.
Another absentee from the semi-finals is Dick Best, the Quins coach.
When he returns from Hong Kong, where he has charge of the Barbarians, on Monday, he should find an invitation to continue as England's coach.
Mike Slemen will be his new deputy with, it is understood, Peter Rossborough, the former England and Coventry full-back, moving into the B set-up.
Harlequins: S Thresher; M Wedderburn, W Carling, S Halliday, G Thompson; D Pears, R Glenister; M Hobley, B Moore, A Mullins, T Coker, N Edwards, M Skinner, P Winterbottom (capt), R Langhorn.
Leicester: J Liley; T Underwood, I Bates, L Boyle, R Underwood; G Ainscough, D Grewcock; S Redfern, C Tressler, D Garforth, M Johnson, M Poole, J Wells (capt), N Back, D Richards.
Referee: J Pearson (Durham).
Gloucester: T Smith; J Perrins, D Caskie, D Cummins, S Morris; N Matthews, M Hannaford; P Jones, K Dunn, R Phillips, N Scrivens, D Sims, P Ashmead, I Smith (capt), S Masters.
Bath: J Webb; A Swift, P de Glanville, J Guscott, J Fallon; S Barnes, R Hill; G Chilcott, G Dawe, V Ubogu, M Haag, N Redman, A Robinson (capt), D Egerton, B Clarke.
Referee: C Rees (London).
The Junior Leaders Regiment Royal Artillery, Bramcote, were too strong for the British Military Hospital, Rinteln, to emerge 13C0 winners of the Schweppes Army Minor Units Cup.
CRICKET
Yorkshire capture Tendulkar
By Neil Hallam
SACHIN TENDULKAR, the Indian batting prodigy, will break more fresh ground this summer when he becomes Yorkshire's first overseas player and dismantles what has been perceived as a racial barrier at Headingley.
Tendulkar, 18, India's youngest Test player, was yesterday confirmed as Yorkshire's choice to fill the overseas berth left vacant when Australian fast bowler Craig McDermott withdrew from a three-year contract because of a groin injury requiring major surgery.
Yorkshire's chief executive, Chris Hassall, was in Bombay yesterday with a one-year contract believed to be worth about 30,000 for the record-breaking teenager.
The cost will be borne by Yorkshire Television and club president Sir Lawrence Byford believes that the arrival of Tendulkar will ' forever bury the myth that there are racial undertones at work in this club '.
He added: ' We did look at the possibility of replacing McDermott with another fast bowler but all those good enough were already committed elsewhere. '
Yorkshire are hoping Tendulkar will lure support from the ethnic community to a county which has seen membership decline from 15,000 to 7,000 in recent years.
Sir Lawrence refused to disclose details of the voting on Tendulkar's signing at yesterday's meeting of the Cricket Committee but Bradford member Bob Appleyard said: ' A batsman will not help us to bowl sides out twice.
With more firepower we could have finished third or fourth instead of 14th last season. '
RALLYING
McRaes both out in front
ACTION in the second round of the Mobil/Top Gear British Championship gets under way in Carlisle this morning for the one-day Pirelli international, writes Steve Fellows.
Colin McRae, of Scotland, continues his defence of the champion's crown over four stages in Kielder Forest after winning the opening round in his Subaru in north Wales two weeks ago.
His younger brother, Alister, will also be aiming to maintain his lead in the showroom car category.
GOLF
Error-prone Lyle loses his way
By Michael Williams in New Orleans
WHILE Nick Faldo was stirring himself back to life again in the Freeport-McMoran Classic with a second round of 69, Sandy Lyle was left contemplating what he felt was likely to be another missed cut in his final preparation for next week's Masters.
Lyle, with an eight at the 11th, his second hole of the day, never repaired the damage and his 75 after a 71 on Thursday left him perilously placed at two over par, ' probably one too many ', he guessed.
His forecast looked like being correct, which meant that Steve Richardson would make it after a 72 for a total of 143.
It included dropped shots at two of his last three holes.
In bright afternoon sunshine, Chip Beck, the American Ryder Cup player, forged firmly to the front, overtaking Brad Bryant, who had earlier set the target with a 69 and a total of 136.
Seve Ballesteros, who had shared the overnight lead on 67, was making no further progress and was still five under par as he came in on the closing holes.
It was the 11th, a par five, which knocked all the stuffing out of Lyle.
While he admittedly hooked off the tee, he was very unlucky to lose his ball in one of the tall clumps of reed grass that dot many of the bunkers.
' We saw it go in, ' said Lyle, ' but we could not find it and I had to go back and play three off the tee. '
The error was then compounded when, having just missed the green with his fourth shot, his chip ' took off ' and he three-putted.
It was on the greens that Lyle continues to suffer.
' It's driving me crazy  33, 34 putts every round, ' he said.
Time and time again he was missing from inside 6ft.
The only good sign in his game was his play of the par-threes, two under par for the two rounds.
Conversely, he was five over for the par-fives and did not have one birdie in eight attempts.
Faldo, with his first round of 74, had also looked in some danger.
However, he played far better yesterday and was heading for a 67 until he unexpectedly dropped shots at both the 16th and 17th.
There will be a field of 70 for today's first big event of the amateur season, the Berkhamsted Trophy, writes Bill Meredith.
This 36-hole event has attracted leading players  including the holder, Graham Homewood, 1990 winner Jon Barnes, England international Ian Garbutt and Wanstead's Darren Lee.
BOXING
Cook loses title in 40 seconds
JAMES COOK'S defence of the European super-middleweight title lasted just 40 seconds as he was knocked out by the undefeated Franck Nicotra, of France, in Vitrolles last night.
Nicotra hit the Jamaican-born Cook, 33, with a right uppercut from which he never looked likely to recover.
The 26-year-old Frenchman kept up the punishment and barely 30 seconds after the opening bell Cook fell to the floor and was counted out.
MOTOR RACING
De Ferran out for hat-trick
BRAZILIAN Formula Three driver Gil de Ferran will be out for a hat-trick of wins at Silverstone tomorrow in the second round of this season's series, writes Trevor Williamson.
Dutchman Marcel Albers, who won the first race at Donington, compatriot Oswaldo Negri and Belgian Mikke Van Hool were all slightly quicker in testing during the week so de Ferran will need to be at peak to clinch top spot, as he twice did for Edenbridge Racing last year.
BOWLS
Gourley hits the top spot
SARAH GOURLEY, of Prestwick, the Scottish indoor and outdoor singles' champion, took her first step to securing a world championship double for her country in Guernsey last night.
Her 7C1, 7C5 victory in the women's world indoor championships allowed local player, Wilma Le Feuvre, to count on only three ends.
Meanwhile, another Scot, Margaret Letham, a former British champion and beaten semi-finalist last year, began her challenge with a superb two sets to nothing nine-end victory over Jersey's Sue Dingle.
Gourley and Letham hold top spots in their respective sections.
EQUESTRIANISM
Rozier returns from ban to clinch victory
PHILIPPE ROZIER, who has just finished a three-month ban after Oscar Minotiere was found over the permitted limit of the painkiller, butazolidine, rode the same horse to victory for France in the Euro Horse Trophy in Gothenberg yesterday, writes Alan Smith.
Rozier's suspenison meant him missing several preliminary rounds and he needs a high placing in today's last qualifier to reach the final.
The Euro Horse Trophy was on time from the start and Rozier just held off Austrian Hugo Simon, who won the first World Cup final in this arena in 1979, on Amaretto.
None of the British went clear, John Whitaker being the highest placed  14th on Henderson Fonda, one ahead of his brother, Michael, on Uriels Foal.
European champion Isabelle Werth, riding Fabienne, headed the expected German charge by forging ahead in the final of the Volvo Dressage World Cup.
She won the first half, the Grand Prix, from Sven Rothenberger on Ideaal and Monica Theodorescu on Grunox.
EURO TROPHY (Gothenberg): 1, P Rozier's Waiti Oscar Minotiere (France); 2, H Simon's Amaretto (Austria); 3, E Gundel's Gauner (Germany).
VOLVO WORLD CUP FINAL, Grand Prix: 1, Miss I Werth's Fabienne (Germany); 2, S Rothenberger's Ideaal (Germany); 3, Miss M Theodorescu's Grunox (Germany).
Golf: Harvey sweeps into surprise lead
By Richard James in Rome
GARRY HARVEY played 24 holes in one under par to take a surprise halfway lead over fellow Scot Bill Longmuir in the Rome Masters at Castelgandolfo yesterday.
Harvey, 37, whose one important victory came in the 1985 Kenya Open, completed an opening 70, which included a hole-in-one, and then added 71 to move three under par on 141.
The Perth professional, whose father engraves the winner's name on the Open Championship Trophy, earned the 37th card on his 11th visit to the PGA School in November but has missed two cuts and finished 66th on his three previous Tour outings this year.
Chelmsford's Trish Wilson and Jean Johnson beat Sundridge Park's Tita Keman and Janet Ball in the 50th London Ladies' Scratch Club Foursomes final.
Cricket: S Africans on verge of history
By Geoffrey Dean in Kingston, Jamaica
HISTORY will be made today when the South Africans touch down at Kingston Airport for their first tour of the Caribbean, which will comprise three one-day internationals and an inaugural Test match in Barbados.
The 120-strong party, made up of players, board officials, journalists, wives, supporters and an under-19 team, will fly in from New York on a specially chartered South African Airways plane.
The South Africans will have only three days to acclimatise before the opening one-day match at Sabina Park next Tuesday.
A spokesman for the Jamaican Board said yesterday that a crowd close to 10,000 was expected.
Five of the West Indies' side will, by contrast, have had ideal preparation after playing in today's Geddes Grant Cup final between Trinidad and Barbados at the Queen's Park Oval.
They are Lara, Simmons, Williams, Haynes and Cummins.
Hugh Morris has lost the England A captaincy for the domestic season's curtain-raiser against county champions Essex, which starts at Lord's on April 13.
The Glamorgan opener drops down to vice-captain to make way for Yorkshire's Martyn Moxon.
ENGLAND A (v Essex, April 13C16): M D Moxon (capt), H Morris (vice capt), D J Bicknell, M R Ramprakash, P Johnson, G P Thorpe, S J Rhodes, D G Cork, T A Munton, I D K Salisbury, R A Pick, D E Malcolm.
Warwickshire's Jason Ratcliffe made 104 to help the county to 347 for seven declared on the second day of their tour match against Boland in Brackenfell, South Africa, yesterday.
Soccer: Versatile Davies earns a double first PROFILE
Charles Randall on the Cambridge rugby union captain who wins his soccer Blue today
By CHARLES RANDALL
ADRIAN DAVIES, the Welsh international rugby union outside-half, runs out with the Cambridge University soccer side to take on Oxford at Fulham this morning with the roar of Twickenham fresh in his memory.
Davies the rugby player captained Cambridge to a 17C11 victory over Oxford in his fourth Varsity match last December and is almost certainly creating history by becoming the first to earn a rugby-soccer double Blue in the same season.
Dr John Little, president of the Cambridge club, said: ' I can't say unequivocally but I have gone through a history of the club and there is no mention of it there. '
Oxford's past reveals that, in 1894, C B Fry, a future England cricketer and then the world long jump record-holder, was prevented by injury from gaining a rugby Blue in the same season as winning the third of his four soccer Blues.
Davies, though a useful club cricketer, could hardly be compared with Fry, but he can boast an achievement that eluded arguably the greatest of all-round English sportsmen.
Davies, 23, a nimble midfield player, might one day be able to tell his grandchildren of a winning double Blue.
Perhaps his only regret is missing the chance of adding Wembley, no longer the soccer venue, to Twickenham.
Giving time to both sports is now easier than it was.
The matches used to be held little more than a week or so apart but soccer has since switched to the Lent term.
The talented Davies played soccer for Wales Schools Under-15s while at Pencoed Comprehensive, a rugby school, before switching codes in the sixth form to captain Wales Schools at rugby.
He was good enough to be invited for trials by Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday.
He declined, and was sucked into rugby with Neath and Wales.
Davies, a geography student at Robinson College, said: ' I've played football since I was 10 or 11.
It's been a bit of a pity, really, that rugby has taken over so much that I haven't been able to continue playing football.
' I decided not to play rugby this term.
My neck is still not quite right and I have injured a shoulder.
I could still run, so I turned up for football training and things have gone on from there.
' The training is a lot different.
Although I 'm reasonably fit, the difference in sharpness is immense.
Everything in football is 100 miles an hour.
' You don't have a rest when the ball goes into touch and the line-out forms and so on.
There is far more running to do playing midfield. '
If the softly spoken Welshman is making history as the first rugby man to conquer soccer, he will not be the last.
Nick Robinson, a centre-forward who won a rugby Blue in the centre in 1990, is a Cambridge substitute today.
And it is not inconceivable that Lloyd Davies, Adrian's brother, who won a rugby Blue in December, could follow a family precedent, this time at right-back.
' He has the talent, ' said Adrian.
Rugby Union: Wales put faith in management duo
By Edward Bevan
ROBERT NORSTER, the Welsh team manager, and national coach Alan Davies have been invited by the Welsh Rugby Union to continue in their roles through the next three Five Nations campaigns and up to and including the 1995 World Cup.
Denis Evans, secretary of the WRU, said: ' Both men have demonstrated their great commitment to Wales over the last nine months and have shown they have the talent and organisational ability to help generate success for the Welsh team at the highest level. '
They were appointed initially for the World Cup and then reappointed to take Wales through this season's Five Nations Championship.
The general committee have also mandated their International Board members to vote for New Zealand as the venue for the next World Cup, due to the continued political uncertainty in South Africa.
Llanelli, the Schweppes Cup-holders, return to Pontypool today for a quarter-final tie against the team they beat 36C15 in last week's Heineken League game.
They also won 24C9 in last season's cup final and Pontypool, despite the return after a 10-week suspension of Dean Oswald, their Kiwi No 8, are unlikely to record their first win in eight meetings between the clubs.
Newport will be without Paul Turner, their outside-half and captain, for the game against Bridgend at Rodney Parade, though Bidgood, their international centre, returns after injury.
The visitors have chosen Clive Barber at outside-half in place of Luc Evans, who is touring abroad.
Mark Titley and Simon Davies, the Swansea wings who are at the Hong Kong Sevens, are replaced by Bleddyn Taylor and Chris Higgs for the derby at Dunvant.
Wales Youth aim to complete a hat-trick of victories over England Colts when they meet at Brecon today.
Last season they won the junior Grand Slam and overwhelmed England 32C3 at Fylde, while two years ago a side containing Scott Gibbs and Neil Jenkins won 12C6 at Wrexham.
CYCLING
Uphill task for Kelly
SEAN KELLY, 36 next month, will find in the 164-mile Tour of Flanders tomorrow that it will not be his age but the rest of the professional ' peleton ' that will make victory in the one classic he has never won practically impossible, writes Phil Liggett.
Kelly's outstanding win in Milan-San Remo last month was one of the most courageous since the event was first run in 1907 but the uphill finish in the Belgian classic will favour the younger men.
LAWN TENNIS
Borg's hopes are dashed
BJORN BORG'S hopes of a return to his former glories received another setback when he was beaten 6C3, 6C7, 7C6 by Venezuela's Nicolas Pereira in the second round of an exhibition event in Houston, writes John Parsons.
Pereira, 21, was once world junior champion but is now world-ranked 154 and would not have been given much chance of defeating Borg when the Swede was in his prime.
Chris Bailey, from Norwich, reached the semi-finals of the Masters on the French satellite circuit in Lille yesterday with a 6C1, 6C2 win over Stephane Sansoni, of France.
However, Southampton's Chris Wilkinson lost 6C7, 7C5, 7C5 to Holland's Fernon Wibier.
Sarah Bentley, who beat South African Cindy Summers 6C4, 3C6, 6C2, will today meet her Surrey team-mate, Siobhan Nicholson, in the final of the Namibia women's tournament at Windhoek.
Nicholson won her semi-final against another South African, Louise Venter, 4C6, 6C4, 7C5.
Details  P34
YACHTING
New Zealand share misery
STARTING with a crash and ending with the tightest finish in America's Cup sailing, the fourth race of the Louis Vuitton challenger semi-finals off San Diego was both memorable and miserable, writes Tim Jeffery.
The misery was shared by France's Ville de Paris, who collided with Nippon and lost both the umpire's verdict and most of the her bow, and New Zealand, who came from behind to cross the line 2ft in front of Il Moro di Venezia only to have the victory overturned when the umpires ruled she had brushed the finish-line buoy. 6univ
All Soling class keelboats entered for the Barcelona Olympic regatta must pass core sampling tests to ensure compliance with the building specifications, the International Yacht Racing Union announced yesterday.
RUGBY LEAGUE
Last chance for GB tour hopefuls
By John Whalley
WITH Andy Gregory, the Wigan scrum-half, confirming yesterday he would be in contention for Great Britain's summer tour squad to be announced on Monday, the fringe contenders have their last chance to impress over the weekend.
To help his British colleagues catch the selectors' eyes, Tea Ropati, St Helens' New Zealand three-quarter, has volunteered to take a substitute's role at Warrington today in a match Saints can not afford to lose.
If Wigan beat Featherstone tomorrow and St Helens lose today, Wigan's third title in a row would be in the bag, though Featherstone's recent improved form suggests Wigan's task is no formality.
Mike McClennan, the St Helens coach, conceded Wigan looked title certainties, but he added: ' We must keep on winning in case they slip. '
Salford, battling with Bradford to avoid going down with Swinton, are without four first choice players at Widnes, whose wretched end to the season continues with eight regular injured.
David Bishop, who switched from union in 1988, has been transfer-listed by Hull KR.
His four-year contract expires in the summer.
AMERICAN FOOTBALL
Spanish date for Monarchs
LONDON Monarchs travel to Barcelona Dragons tonight for a rematch of the first World Bowl, writes Christopher Davies.
Last June the Monarchs beat the Dragons 21C0 to lift the World Bowl trophy but last week's 31C28 defeat by Frankfurt exposed weaknesses in the London team.
Ray Willsey, Monarchs' head coach, said: ' We made too many errors against Frankfurt.
We must find more consistency, which was the key to our success in 1991. '
HOCKEY
Taunton aim for a quick return to top
By Chris Moore
THE two remaining places in next season's Pizza Express National League will be settled tomorrow when four teams set out to join Harleston Magpies and Beeston, who have already qualified.
Taunton Vale, Sun Life West League champions, go to Cheshire to meet Brooklands (1.45pm), winners of the North Premier League title.
A victory for Taunton would enable them to return to the National League after relegation last year.
Victory for Old Kingstonians at home to Oxford Hawks, the Peroni South League champions (2pm), will take them into the Pizza Express while defeat will put them in the South League, which has absorbed the London League.
Avon have withdrawn from the West regional rounds of the NatWest Women's County Championship following a disappointing turn-out of players and internal problems, writes Cathy Harris.
Points scored in matches already played against Avon have been deducted and the schedule readjusted.
Berkshire, South title-holders, will be without the experienced Gill Scott and Katie Dodd when they start the defence of their title at Southampton today.
POINT-TO-POINT
For A Lark is set for repeat
FOR A LARK, a comfortable winner at Haldon a week ago, should follow it up at today's Spooners and West Dartmoor meeting, writes Hugh Condry.
Rugby Union: Campese is ruled out
By CHARLES RANDALL
DAVID CAMPESE will miss the Hong Kong Sevens, which start today, for the second successive year, writes Charles Randall.
The Royal Jockey Club are funding a 70 million expansion of the Government Stadium for 1994 but the expectations swelled by October's World Cup have been dimmed by the loss of the injured Campese and several other leading players among the 24 teams competing in this sell-out event, which is sponsored as usual by Cathay Pacific and Hong Kong Bank.
Holders Fiji start as favourites while the Barbarians, led by Gavin Hastings, and a new-look New Zealand could also do well.
HONG KONG SEVENS.  Pool A: Fiji, Japan, Sri Lanka.
Pool B: France, Irish Wolfhounds, Papua New Guinea.
Pool C: Argentina, American Eagles, Germany.
Pool D: Australia, Tonga, Singapore.
Pool E: Barbarians, Romania, Kwang Hua-Taipei.
Pool F: Canada, South Korea, Thailand.
Pool G: Western Samoa, Namibia, Arabian Gulf.
Pool H: New Zealand, Hong Kong, Malaysia.
Grand opportunity for Lynch GRAND NATIONAL
J A McGrath reports on an 11th-hour jockey switch for a strongly-fancied Aintree contenderBookmakers areprepared for 55mbetting spree
By J A MCGRATH
MARTIN LYNCH realised the wildest dream of every jump jockey when, at the 11th hour, he picked up the mount on strongly-fancied contender Cool Ground in today's Martell Grand National at Aintree.
Lynch, who fell at the first fence on his only other Grand National ride in 1981, had looked likely to miss the race after Auntie Dot, one of his regular mounts, had been promised to Mark Dwyer, who finished third on her in last year's race.
The jockey merry-go-round kept whirring at a fierce pace as Adrian Maguire, who rode Cool Ground to win the Gold Cup, joined the rapidly-growing casualty list at Liverpool after falling with Sibton Abbey in the Perrier Jouet Handicap Chase.
His injuries forced him to give up the coveted mount on Cool Ground.
Maguire sustained a shoulder injury and was concussed, so misses his first opportunity to ride in the big race.
Trainer Toby Balding set about finding a replacement, and after consultation with Peter Bolton, owner of Cool Ground and of Whitcombe Manor Racing Stables, came up with Lynch, 33, originally from Co Meath but based in Britain.
Lynch, who rode his first winner at Thurles, in Ireland, in 1977, lists his win in the Vincent O'Brien Gold Cup aboard Nick The Brief as his most important victory to date.
His best season so far came when he rode 28 winners, and with 22 to his credit already this term, he is on course to better that total.
Lynch, who fell on Barney Maclyvie at the first 11 years ago, said: ' I have been told that a lot of good jockeys have fallen at the first fence in their first ride in the National and then gone on to win the race next time.
I hope they are right. '
Balding has long held the opinion that Jimmy Frost should ride Cool Ground, but after the West Country rider was beaten on the gelding at Newcastle earlier in the season, Bolton plumped for Maguire.
' I am very disappointed for Jimmy.
He has had a terrible month, ' said Balding, referring to the fact that Frost has also lost the ride today on Morley Street, who attempts a hat-trick in the Martell Aintree Hurdle, with Richard Dunwoody aboard.
' But it is the owner's view that Jimmy does not suit Cool Ground, and he says he prefers a jockey who sits still and allows the horse to take him along to his fences.
After discussions, Martin Lynch's name came out on top of the list. '
Brendan Sheridan was another jockey forced to give up his National ride.
He took a crashing fall from Ferromyn in the Heidsieck Dry Monopole Novice Hurdle and later felt very sore.
Although passed fit by the doctor, Sheridan gave his National ride on Roc de Prince to fellow Irishman Charlie Swan.
Richard Dunwoody, who rides Brown Windsor, was lucky not to join those on the sidelines after suffering three nasty falls yesterday.
He finished the day battered and bruised but well enough to ride the strongly-fancied Brown Windsor.
He fell from Gambling Royal, Calabrese and King Of The Lot, but had a success in the Mumm Melling Chase aboard the spectacular Remittance Man.
Brown Windsor will be blinkered for the first time, a decision to which trainer Nicky Henderson gave long thought.
' I've had sleepless nights but it's the biggest day of his life and he needs all the help he can get, ' he said.
Jamie Osborne rode again yesterday despite giving up later rides on the first day and will be fit to partner Whats The Crack.
Graham Bradley, who injured a finger on Thursday, is also fit to take his National mount on Rowlandsons Jewels.
Anthony Tory, who misses the ride on Docklands Express, is believed to have pulled a muscle in the back of his neck or to have displaced some vertebrae.
He is due to see a chiropractor tomorrow and is likely to undergo surgery.
As a consequence of Peter Scudamore's switch to Docklands Express, Steve Smith Eccles, 36, who has had only three rides since returning from injury, was confirmed as the rider of Bonanza Boy, running in the National for the fourth successive year.
John Upson, trainer of yesterday's first winner, River Bounty, is concerned about sick horses in his yard  which is not good news for those who have supported his Grand National runner Over The Road.
' A lot of my horses have been sick, ' Upson declared.
' Out of 32, I had six fit ones this morning.
We are hoping for the best for Over The Road, who has shown no signs of suffering any virus at the moment. '
TobyBalding will have an interesting second-string in Romany King, who has reportedly been working well at Whitcombe.
' He is fine at present, ' said Balding, who is running the gelding as an eight-year-old, being of the opinion that he will never be so well treated in the National by the handicapper again.
Yesterday's many developments  including the confirmation of Scudamore's booking and the likelihood of drying ground  have prompted Coral's to cut Docklands Express, my selection, to 8C1 from 11C1 and he is their new favourite.
The other bookmakers are expected to follow suit this morning.
Cool Ground is now 10C1, having been as short as 6C1 favourite yesterday morning.
He is joined by both Brown Windsor and Twin Oaks.
The best-backed outsider is Henrietta Knight's Whats The Crack, now 20C1 from 40C1.
Bookmakers estimate that 15 million people will wager more than 55million on the race, with any thoughts of the current recession being quickly forgotten.
Soccer: Labour to take a stand on seats
By John Ley
ON THE eve of the FA Cup semi-finals Labour have hinted that if they win the General Election, Third and Fourth Division grounds may not have to become all-seat, despite the Taylor Report's recommendations.
The report recommends that First and Second Division clubs have all-seat grounds by August 1994 and Third and Fourth Division clubs by August 1999.
Lord Justice Taylor, recently appointed Lord Chief Justice, said that the 95 deaths during and after the 1989 FA Cup semi-final between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest might have been avoided in an all-seat stadium.
In response to Labour's move, the Prime Minister is believed to be considering a similar action.
Mr Major has said privately that he does not believe it is necessary to follow the Taylor recommendations to the letter, but he will insist that the changes are made for First and Second Division clubs.
The Prime Minister, a Chelsea supporter, believes that much of the cash needed can be provided by changes to the Pools Levy and the proposed national lottery.
is understood to have indicated he sees no necessity for blanket adherence to the report's findings on seating.
Roy Hattersley, Labour's deputy leader, said: ' I want to look very carefully at the idea to make sure that clubs don't go out of business and that large families on low incomes can still go to football matches. '
Labour will make a statement on the Taylor Report in Nottingham today, when Mr Hattersley is due to meet Denis Howell, Labour's former sports minister, and Brian Clough, the Nottingham Forest manager, who is a Labour supporter.
The Football Supporters Association, who are pressing for a rethink on the Taylor Report, have received a letter from the Premier League's chairman, Sir John Quinton, expressing his opposition to all-seat stadiums.
Administrators in charge of Fourth Division Northampton yesterday dismissed the manager, nine players and two back-room staff.
Report and FA Cup  P34
At Home: Not quite creased up by the new, improved wonder iron
By MARK EDMONDS
WITH the average freelance ironer charging Gentlemen Who Don't 50 pence a shirt, the ' professional ' steam iron to be launched next month by Philips sounds excellent value at 170.
Slobs like me who iron only when they are forced to, and then only the bits that show, stand to recoup their investment after less than a year's worth of shirts.
The huge price tag attached to the iron certainly promises a great deal.
Since you can pick up a no-frills steam iron for 40 or 50 I assumed it would take all the angst out of what is arguably the last of the genuinely ghastly domestic chores.
I had every hope that the industrial-strength whoosh of steam the manufacturers trumpet so loudly would present me with crease-free shirts and service my morning cappuccino.
Philips says this is the first example of a ' professional ' steam iron to hit the British shops.
In Italy and France, however, these super-irons are commonplace and account for 50 per cent of annual sales.
This probably indicates one of two things: Continental Europeans are more particular about the state of their shirts, or they are less particular about the claims of the manufacturers.
It comes in two parts.
The first seems conventional enough  standard iron shape, flex attachment to power source from handle  although its separate ' vapour tank ' was a new one on me.
The whole caboodle, heavy and cumbersome, looked as though it might be more at home in a grand hotel than a north London flat: precisely the image the manufacturer is trying to get across.
It is the vapour tank that is the key to the machine's alleged superiority over other steam irons.
This takes a full litre of water  enough for one-and-a-half hours of constant steam ironing without going back to the tap.
The tank produces 50 grams of steam per minute  about three times that of a conventional steam iron  and feeds it directly into the iron via a cord in its side.
A separate sole plate heats up the steam even more, producing a much more powerful jet.
Once I'd mastered a none-too-straightforward control panel, which looks rather like those muticoloured ever-flickering computers you find on the dashboard of executive cars, my test run got under way.
Briefed comprehensively by my fastidious fiancee on ironing strategy  ' Never start from the front/make sure you give the cuffs a decent jet of steam... not like that, you chump! '  I set about a pile of shirts, mainly cotton but one silk, and a range of trousers.
First you must fill the tank  a relatively idiot-proof exercise, though you must remember to unscrew it carefully and slowly when replenishing it, since the steam is kept under considerable pressure.
A pilot light on the tank's control panel conveniently lets you know when the iron is running out of steam.
There is no doubting the iron's power.
Even the shirts which had been left for many weeks in my laundry out-tray responded to the punishment it dished out.
The iron's ' trigger ', concealed in its handle, was jolly good fun to operate.
One squeeze and you've strafed even the most determined of creases out of existence: a separate jet of steam, which is activated by a button on top of the handle, is useful for sniper attacks on hard-to-defeat cuff wrinkles.
Irons I've used before have also offered this facility, but I've always found I've ended up toing and froing between the tap once too often.
The capacity of the Philips iron keeps this to a minimum.
Also useful, I 'm sure, is the facility for ironing curtains, upholstery, and even jackets and shirts vertically.
The jet of steam can be aimed at particularly stubborn creases, and there is also a spray attachment which you can use to cover larger areas.
Its bulk, however, was a problem, which might make vertical ironing a little impractical.
A broad-beamed fellow like myself should have no difficulty careering it across the ironing board, although a woman or even a bachelor-wimp might sooner resort to an old-fashioned metal iron than attempt to put this monster through its paces.
Another design fault rests with the flex: since it protrudes from the heel, you can't stand it up when you're not using it.
You also need plenty of room, since the iron does not operate independently of the vapour tank.
But I couldn't argue with the machine's efficiency.
My shirts and trousers emerged from the exercise crease-free, with only the minimum of effort on my part.
It coped admirably with a range of different materials.
While I can't say I actually enjoyed the experience  as usual, two shirts flaked me out and put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day  I did find the whole process a whole lot easier on the nerves than throwing a glass of water across a shirt in the hope that somehow the creases, along with the water, would eventually evaporate.
At Home: PRIZED POSSESSIONS
By JOHN BLY
SENT BY a reader in Redhill, this picture shows a good example of an early 17th-century oak ' gate-leg ' table, circa 1685, and the photograph clearly shows the reason for its name.
Drop-leaf tables which could be placed against the wall when not in use developed during the pre-Commonwealth period, but the method of framed ' joined ' construction necessitated the use of a securing pivot at the top and the bottom of the swing-out supporting leg.
Hence gate-leg.
By the 1730s this construction had been superseded by a knuckle joint at the top and the gate-leg had become virtually obsolete.
Thus, unless the table shown is a reproduction, which it is not, it would have been made within a comparatively short period.
Guides to authenticity visible in the photograph are type and colour of timber, construction of the underframe and the drawer side.
The turning to the legs is particularly attractive here.
Given that it is a comfortable six-seater, this table should be insured for 2,500.
At Home: Auntie with an answer
By Celia Haddon
LATE at night an elderly woman rang Christine Hall to say that she had refused much-needed hospital treatment because she could not leave her dog, Holly.
After 20 calls to animal sanctuaries a person who would foster Holly was found, so that the woman could have her operation.
Solving such difficulties is routine for Christine Hall, a married woman with a family, who is one of 43 volunteers in the nationwide Friskies Petcare Helpline, a service funded by the petfood manufacturer of that name.
She offers advice, information and sometimes just a sympathetic ear to worried pet owners of Cleveland.
The most common calls are from people who have lost their pets.
For them Christine keeps a list of phone numbers for animal homes which might have the animal; she sends them posters to put up in schools, vets' surgeries and newsagents; and tells them to check sheds and garages in case their pet is locked inside.
' Some people are at their wit's end, crying over the phone.
It's heartbreaking to lose a pet. '
About a third of the animals are found again.
Sometimes she can help directly in the search.
' I remember a border collie that had been stolen from outside a shop where he'd been tied.
As this was my hundredth phone call, I got some publicity in the local press and the dog was found.
The thief had taken the collar and lead and just left the dog. '
Becoming a helpline volunteer, without pay or telephone expenses, is not a soft option.
Prospective volunteers must provide references from local animal organisations and face an interview at home.
The aim is not to find an expert, but somebody who will pass callers on to experts.
' I had a phone call about a tortoise with a soft shell, ' says Christine.
' I gave the caller the name of a vet who knows about reptiles and suggested joining the British Chelonia Group for owners. '
Other calls are about unwanted pets.
This is an area which Christine, as the owner of five dogs, five cats, and five tortoises, knows only too well.
Three of her cats arrived via the helpline.
' There was this tiny three-week-old kitten found on a motorway, ' she says.
' I couldn't find anybody else to take it... '
Hedgehogs are her speciality.
She helps the local sanctuary by taking vulnerable tiggywinkles in over winter.
The oddest call she had was from Teesside airport, where one was stuck up a drainpipe making squeaking noises.
The fire brigade cut it free.
Sometimes she can help callers only by listening to them.
' There was a lady who called two weeks ago crying because her tortoise had died.
I cried with her.
I can't say that I keep a distance, because I don't.
You do get involved, you know. '
Friskies Helpline central number is 071 352 7220.
At Home: Pots of gold from under the ocean Leslie Geddes-Brown looks behind the mania for shipwreck china
By LESLIE GEDDES-BROWN
SHIPWRECK CARGOES have everything the antique collector could desire: romance, history, provenance, beauty  and buoyant prices.
So, next Tuesday and Wednesday, Christie's in Amsterdam expects a full turnout of buyers when it sells 28,000 pieces of Chinese porcelain from a burnt-out junk shipwrecked around 1690 off Con Dao Island, Vietnam.
The Vung Tau Cargo, snagged in a Vietnamese fisherman's nets, looks like being a repeat of the astonishing success of the Nanking Cargo  150,000 pieces of mid-18th-century porcelain plus 126 gold bars  salvaged by an ex-Barnardo's boy, Michael Hatcher, and auctioned in 1986.
The auction house had expected 3 million from the sale  it got 10 million.
It was not always thus: in 1983, when Christie's sold the first batch of 25,000 pieces of Ming porcelain, found (also by Hatcher) in a junk on a reef on the South China Sea, prices were low, because neither auction house nor collectors could see beyond the porcelain's dull glaze to its historic possibilities.
A year later, with a second sale, the British Museum and other astute buyers started to collect shipwrecked porcelain, which was beginning to tell historians a lot about the 18th-century European buyers and their influence on the East.
By 1986, 20,000 people queued to view the Nanking ware in Amsterdam.
When large quantities of Chinese blue and white porcelain first arrived in Europe in the 17th century the demand was so high it was nicknamed ' Chinamania '; the phrase is just as apt today.
Michael Cohen, a specialist dealer in oriental porcelain who expects to be a big bidder at next week's sale, spent more than 1 million buying Nanking pieces.
' I bought a lot at the sale.
We sold over 22,000 objects in two or three days.
Then I started buying from other dealers to satisfy demand.
' At the start, a tea cup and saucer was selling for around 30 in my shop; by the third day they were nearer 200 and still selling. '
Though Christie's says that the Vung Tau sale is lotted to encourage private buyers, with sets of between five and nine matching vases offered per lot (and designed to be shown, as they were in the 17th century, massed together on a chimneypiece or high shelf), Cohen believes buying is more easily done through a dealer.
' Only 30 per cent of Vung Tau is perfect; the rest is damaged, from a small chip to half the piece missing.
Then it's necessary to re-view the lots to make sure they haven't been further damaged during the view. '
He's had 10 times the number of commission bids for Vung Tau as he had for Nanking  ' and this is a much smaller cargo '.
Colin Sheaf, who will auction Vung Tau, rang me from Hong Kong to say there was a great deal of interest there and in Singapore in the cargo, and catalogues were selling fast.
The first print run of 6,000 sold out and a second of 4,000 is moving quickly.
Anyone worrying  as dealers and Christie's once did  that these thousands of 300-year-old pots will flood the market need only look at Harrods, where Nanking Cargo plates have been selling regularly and at increasing prices since the auction (195 for a good teabowl, 7,000 for an ' encrusted ' tureen) and where, after the Vung Tau auction, the new pieces will also be for sale from, they expect, 50 to 10,000.
Michael Cohen also plans a major exhibition  15 or 20 Nanking pieces, silver bars from the Dutch bullion ship Bredenhof, auctioned in 1986, anything he can get from Vung Tau and, he hopes, a few pieces from the first Hatcher junk, which are the earliest of them all.
These will be at his shop, 84 Portobello Road, from April 13.
Christie's seems to be becoming the shipwreck specialist: next week's sale is its 13th since 1982.
In 1983 it sold the contents of a Spanish galleon which went down off Cartagena carrying uncut emeralds and gold, and in 1988 homely spades, belaying pins and scrubbing brushes from HMS Invincible, a Royal Navy warship which foundered on a sandbank.
But, for my money, the most heart-wrenching of all was the discovery of the wreck of Nuestra Senora de Atocha, which sank in 1622, dragged to the bottom in a gale by the weight of silver and gold aboard  no less than 17 tons of silver and 500 pounds of gold.
None of the 268 people on her escaped  they were trapped beneath the storm-battened hatches.
The rosaries and crucifixes of four drowned priests, the contraband smuggled aboard, perhaps by a doomed explorer and his soldiers, and a crested silver dish, belonging to a Spanish grandee who perished with his wife and teenage daughter, were all salvaged.
It took Mel Fisher, an American obsessed with finding gold, 17 years to track down the wreck of the Atocha; in the process, his son and daughter-in-law drowned.
So, if you ask how many more shipwrecks there are out there, ready for the eager auctioneers, the answer is plenty  but very few have any undamaged treasure on board.
Shipwrecks, says Colin Sheaf, are usually violent affairs in which valuable cargoes are scattered or smashed.
' If ships go down in shallow water, ' adds Michael Cohen, ' cargoes are damaged by the tides.
So the ones we are looking for are all in deep water.
' No-one knew the true routes of the ships and virtually all the best wrecks have been found by accident.
Just think of the Titanic  everyone knew where she went down, but it still took years to find her. '
Parents: What use is a man about the house?
Helen Bullock's article on dads who are unable to cope has attracted many readers' letters.
Here is a selection
By HELEN BULLOCK
MANY mothers agreed with Helen Bullock that men can only focus on one thing at a time.
Women, argued Mrs Anne Smith of West Bridgford, Nottingham, can do six jobs in five minutes of walking in the house with their coats still on.
' The times I have gone shopping, left him babysitting, to arrive home four hours later and it all looks exactly the same or worse.
' ' Why haven't you done anything? '
' ' Oh but I have.
I've looked after Jack [ our son ]  a great afternoon. ' '
' Washing up, washing, ironing seems invisible and doesn't bother him.
He's quite happy sitting in a mess.
' It must be wonderful to be a father, wake up on Xmas morning and say, ' What have we bought everybody? '
' Good luck to women who can train their husbands.
I've tried it and decided he's got different genes and will never change.
It's up to mothers to try to change the next generation  I will be teaching my son to wash, iron and darn. '
M. Shirley Emerson, a GP from Cambridge married to another GP, writes: ' On the whole I think women whinge too much about the inability of men to cope, but probably give them little chance to practise.
' In any family situation where both parents are working, there has to be some division of labour, so we both concentrated on different aspects of the household commitments.
I was very good at planning menus and cooking, but not such a whizz at car, boiler or electrical appliance repairs or breakdowns.
' However, if the circumstances arose, we would change our roles and my husband is completely competent at sewing things on or doing the ironing.
There were several indignant letters from men who had learned to look after themselves very well in the Services and had followed this efficient regime through their married life.
Ivan H. May of Hampstead Garden Suburb writes: ' As a 70-year-old full-time carer looking after a wife suffering from dementia, I do everything in the house: shopping, cooking, washing-up, cleaning, washing, ironing, bed-making, mending and paying the bills, not to mention doing the garden and most of the decorating.
I learnt to be self-sufficient in the army during the Second World War. '
But, from Durham, Dick Wilkinson writes: ' I've just spent the last half-hour with my arm down the toilet trying to unblock it.
When the car goes wrong, who ends up underneath it in the snow?
Who does the decorating, organises builders, plumbers, electricians?
Oh no, it's not the busy little woman, who's far too preoccupied making sure little Katie has a clean hanky.
' My wife works hard as a working mum, and all credit to her, but don't kid me she's a superwoman and I 'm a gibbering idiot.
After all, if she loses her job, things may be difficult, but if I lose my job we can not pay the mortgage.
That's the difference, and that's why men are far more preoccupied with their jobs. '
Finally, a protest from a woman who says she had just finished Helen Bullock's ' oh-so-true ' article when her husband came in and said: ' ' There seems to be a bit of toast on the floor in the other room '.
No, honestly, I mean to say, he is capable of bending down! '
Parents: Help when they're put to the test Maggie Drummond offers hints on helping children knuckle down at exam time
By MAGGIE DRUMMOND
IT'S only a few weeks before thousands of British schoolchildren sit their CSE and A-level exams.
From Hampstead to the Hebrides there is anguish and anxiety as stress levels reach an all-time high.
And that's just among the parents.
The children have their radio helplines, their exam-aid videos and, if all else fails, their Easter holiday crammers.
Mums and dads, on the other hand, have to muddle through this supreme test of parentship more or less on their own  except for the inevitable mock-exam post mortem.
' Not working to full potential ' is a legend many of us feel is engraved on our hearts.
Having teenagers is a humbling experience at the best of times  and having teenagers taking exams is the greatest leveller of all.
Even the most competent high-flier, it seems, feels totally inadequate when faced with a child who simply will not get down to work.
Janet Cohen, a merchant banker and novelist, confesses: ' I went quite mad last summer when my eldest son was doing his A-levels.
I met the most determined teenage resistance ever.
I tried to help him with his schedule and give him advice on exam technique.
Nothing worked. '
In retrospect she says the most important thing is for parents to build in some kind of motivation or prospect that means something to their offspring.
This may entail lining up a course or school that the child wants to go on to, or offering a financial inducement.
' We are all working for money, ' she says.
' There is nothing wrong in bribing children. '
Rosemary Mewson Davis, an educational psychologist, disagrees.
' The problem is that the expectations of many parents are too high.
Offering the children a reward to achieve a standard they may feel they never can is often counter-productive.
They are quite likely to give up.
I feel that children should be brought up with the idea of doing the best they can  for themselves. '
She is amazed how many teenagers are allowed out during the week in the run-up to examinations.
' Parents are too frightened to say no.
Many suffer from the liberal philosophy they remember from the '60s and don't want to sort out their priorities on their own  however much they assure you they can.
And if parents have special knowledge of a subject they should help the child. '
Banning television or video games during the week is common sense.
Dealing with your children's friends who pop round in the evening calls for consummate diplomacy and the setting of time limits.
According to Dr Judith Haynes of the educational psychologists' group Child Consultants, the crucial thing is for parents to gain the child's co-operation in establishing a revision regime in the weeks leading up to examinations.
' There is no point being heavy-handed and threatening, ' she says.
' You must regard exams as a joint problem you must solve together.
' Support and involvement rather than nagging are the watchwords. '
She is not averse to bribery.
But it should be for work done each day or week  not a promise that hangs on results.
' There is little point in distant bribes, however juicy.
It is too easy then for children to put off the evil day when they have to get down to work.
' The most important thing is to organise a system that encourages them to stick at it day by day and week by week.
Giving extra pocket money for good work on a daily basis is far more effective.
But it does mean parents must be totally involved. '
ALASTAIR GRAHAM, headmaster of Mill Hill School, north London, says parents who have paid fees should not be above gently reminding offspring of the financial sacrifices made on their behalf in the run-up to exams.
He disapproves of bribery: ' Children don't need to be saddled with the nagging aspirations of parents who expect little Johnny to do everything they did plus everything they didn't manage to do. '
Like everyone else I talked to, he condemned the present education structure that encourages children to take A-level  a course that is simply not appropriate for many of those currently preparing for the exam.
Nearly 40 per cent, he claims, are doomed to fail.
But what can we do to help the bright child who works well during term but bombs in exams through nerves?
Peter Anger, a psychologist, says: ' This is one area where parents' help is very important.
In my experience schools are very bad at teaching the exam techniques that give this sort of child confidence. '
He suggests that parents should stage pretend exams at home to help children plan their answers  and how to read the questions.
' It is very, very common for children who suffer from exam nerves to misread the questions under stress, ' he says.
' Parents may think the best thing to do with a nervous child is to tell him or her not to worry.
But children know that parents are anxious whatever they say.
The best thing to do is to channel this concern in a positive way by helping them practise revision and exam techniques at home. '
Parents: We must all have a life of our own
DAVID PROFUMO
WHATEVER ELSE it brings, April 9 marks the anniversary of the death of Francis Bacon, the philosopher who perished in 1626 from bronchitis contracted in Highgate while he was experimenting with ways of preserving chickens in snow.
His essay, ' Of Parents and Children ', still makes salutary reading, and by no means sings the praises of paternity; it suggests that most of the ' noblest works' of civilisation have been accomplished by the childless.
In our case, it's a little too late to worry about that.
He issues this warning to parents: ' Let them not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children '  in short, not to become obsessed with the whole business of bringing them up.
This may seem strange in a column dedicated to that very subject, but I think it is excellent advice.
For centuries past, our attitude towards the young was characterised by British Reserve.
' The want of affection in the English is strongly manifested towards their children, ' wrote one Venetian envoy, in 1497.
With the domestic revolution of the past three decades, our family emotions have certainly thawed, but there is still something to be said for resisting the tendency to involve children in every aspect of the parental life.
It is a commonplace that children now seem to grow up alarmingly fast, education and the media combining to erode the apparent gap between the generations.
Where kids become worldly-wise with such rapidity, it is easy for a certain laissez-faire to creep in; they expect to have unbridled access to everything, and in the long run this is not doing any favours to either party concerned.
One of the most difficult things for modern parents is to remind ourselves that we must maintain a life of our own.
In practical terms, there are the notions of privacy and property.
While our household is largely devoted to children, there are definite no-go areas (a concept that has to be reciprocal, of course).
When he was much smaller, Tom was once discovered in my study attacking the dust-jacket of a Norman Mailer novel with my scissors; no doubt he will make a fine critic, but since then the door to my bolt-hole has remained bolted.
By the same token, he would not expect me to be found playing with his Gameboy.
I am all for sharing, but am not interested in running a commune.
Children must also learn to be left to their own devices, to take second place on occasions, and to learn by their mistakes.
The ' progressive ' parent who believes in total involvement in shaping the disposition of children may end up in a stifling relationship that offers precious little access to the outside world.
It requires great restraint not to smother children with good intentions, to endure those looks of disappointment, and to banish feelings of guilt when one puts oneself first.
But I think good parents need the perspective which allows them sometimes to be selfish.
In the long run, it fosters independence.
Right now, though, these fine sentiments have got a fat chance of being put into practice where I 'm standing, boiling the milk for yet more midnight cocoa: with a baby of six weeks in the family, the philosophy of parental detachment is a far cry from reality.
We are running a cottage industry here, a lactarium full of sterilisers, breast-pumps, changing-mats and portable alarms.
Mechanical mobiles spin tinkly music.
In four hours' time there will come a roar like an emergency pitstop at Silverstone, and the next feed will be due.
The domestic dairy has taken over our social diary.
A seemingly endless procession of well-meaning visitors fills each day, marvelling (quite rightly) at Laura's peachlike feet and milk-sated, magpie chucklings.
From time to time we emerge from the factory to buy raw materials at Safeway or Mothercare, and in the end my daily discipline only echoes the great Baconian System when I purchase a frozen chicken.
' Children sweeten labours, ' he wrote; and I suppose that is true, when it is all a labour of love.
Besides, what nobler work of civilisation could there be than a child happily asleep?
Gardening: Give your plants a fit
John Lucas
THE OTHER morning I put my head out to see whether the gardening close season was over and my plot was ready to receive me.
It was indeed.
But as I surveyed the grand vista of my 47 ft plot, one fact became clear: in their struggle for power, many of my shrubs were now far too big for their boots.
For example, my 10-year-old cupressus was busy stifling a display of daffodils, nicely set off by purple aubrieta.
A variegated laurel, a splash of yellow on shiny leaves, was losing a three-way debate with an overbearing pyracanthus and a woody wallful of ivy with a sadistic taste for strangulation.
And to cap it all, in my front garden, a taxus that has already outgirthed Sir Cyril Smith was making a takeover bid for my car runway, so that friends would smilingly open their drivers' doors only to get a mouthful of evergreen.
The first point in my manifesto for those with small gardens is is that when they go on a spree to a garden centre, they should quickly nip any delusions of grandeur in the bud.
Plants have got to fit your gardens  not just in youth, but also when fully grown.
So before buying plants, note the dimensions from the labels of the ones you fancy, or consult, say, the invaluable Reader's Digest Encyclopedia of Garden Plants and Flowers, whose cultivation details include height and breadth of growth (as well as preference for sun or shade).
It pays to plant to scale.
That is, if you don't want to risk a 10 ft sunflower towering out of your windowbox.
Gardening: Your plot could be child's play Most gardens designed with children in mind are safe but dull.
Barbera Garfi suggests one that will work its magic on them
By BARBERA GARFI
DIG a small hole in the ground, fill it with sand and you have fulfilled many designers' criteria for a child's garden.
The rock garden is dismantled, beds filled in, and borders are reduced to ragged strips struggling for survival along the boundary fence.
Later on you can turn the small pit into a muddy puddle for the odd water lily, and contemplate, while scratching mosquito bites, whether the building of a few sandcastles justified a hole in the patio or the loss of a dream border to that safe, but monotonous, area of lawn.
A child's garden can be so much more than just a sandpit.
It has the potential of becoming a ' green ' school, fostering understanding and respect for the environment; a subtle but enjoyable education in flora, fauna, shapes, colours and scents, without sacrificing good garden design.
Determining the role of the ' room outside ' is the first consideration.
The safe garden, where children may play unsupervised, is almost an attainable concept.
But in reality it runs the risk of becoming a green desert.
The most serious potential risk is a pond, which is obviously inadvisable for under-fives.
There are other dangers, but a garden that is free of thorny shrubs of thorny shrubs, spiky perennials and tempting berries may also be devoid of birds, insects, form and texture; denying the very stimulus that could woo a young mind into contemplating the magic of its surroundings.
With sound, the garden can begin to work its magic on even the youngest ears.
Rustling leaves, splashing water and bird song are all desirable elements.
Most fruit trees will encourage the presence of birds.
Cherry, apple and plum are much loved by bullfinches, tits and blackbirds.
The rowan (Sorbus aucuparia) is a great favourite of starlings, which provide an amusing display of gluttony as they devour the bright red autumn berries.
It is a robust tree, tolerant of atmospheric pollution, making it ideal for urban areas, easily grown in all but shallow, chalky soils.
Ladybirds and other insects should be equally welcome.
Bright attractions such as the damselfly are only encouraged with a pond or running stream.
The butterfly is easier to seduce with a wealth of plants such as the sweet scented hyssopus, with its charming flower spikes and small aromatic leaves.
As for spiders, earwigs, woodlice and the rest, they can be encouraged to reside in a distant corner of the garden, beneath a leafy and dead wood home.
They have a fascination all of their own.
Most do only limited damage to plants, and good garden hygiene is usually adequate treatment if they get out of hand.
Little need be said of flower colour for a child's garden.
The choice is huge, from the glaring reds and yellows of the poker plant, kniphofia, to the gentle white clouds of baby's breath, gypsophila.
Foliage, so often overlooked, can be just as bold in colour as well as form.
Yellows are abundant, silver-greys equally so.
Convulvulus cneorum and Stachys olympica ' silver carpet ' have the added advantage of soft, velvety leaves, ideal for stroking by young hands discovering texture.
Darker hues range from the deep chocolate-purple foliage of the cherry plumb tree, Prunus cerasifolia ' Nigra ', to the low, mat-forming Ajuga reptans' Braunherz ', a perennial with rich blue flower spikes that contrast vibrantly with its bronzy purple leaves.
Ophiopogon planiscapus nigrescens is worthy of note, forming spidery clumps or near-black, grass-like leaves.
Making patterns with plants is possible even in the smallest of gardens.
There are many delightful alpines with a height and spread of just a few inches.
For larger and less subtle shapes or patterns, topiary may be an amusing experiment; even a small maze could be created.
The shapes of the flowers are just as intriguing.
Stars, spikes, trumpet, bells, hearts, and feathers can all be represented, along with the plants that have their own curious designs and forms.
Fritillaria meleagris deserves close inspection of its pendant blooms and chequerboard pattern of purple and white squares.
The amusing pom-poms of the giant onion, Allium giganteum, are a must for any child's garden.
Decorative vegetables are an excellent source of oddities.
The tree onion, Allium cepa Prolifera, produces its bulbs at both ends of the plant, and is fine for culinary use.
Cynara cardunculus, the cardoon, has the appearance of a giant thistle, and is an impressive exclamation mark in any border.
Vegetables, and herbs for that matter, are a delight for youngsters, who can follow their progress from seed packets to dinner plate.
Ideally, there should be a place in every child's garden where adults are banned.
A private area, preferably overhung by a favourite tree and screened with a few dense shrubs.
If heavy bushes are out of place, graceful grasses can be just as efficient.
Miscanthus sacchariflorus and the evergreen Arundinaria nitida are equally effective for the purpose.
Beyond the screen a mysterious mood can be created with shade or semi-shade tolerant plants.
Rheum palmatum, with its large deeply-cut leaves, will greatly enhance a jungle atmosphere if planted amid wispy grasses and the delicate lacy foliage of Polypodium vulgare ' Cornubiense ' or the leathery tongue-shaped fronds of Phyllitis scolopendrium.
Bulbs such as scilla or erythronium are ideal for naturalising in such an environment.
Sadly, space is often lacking for the ideal secret garden.
If there is room for just one large tree, a platform may be built across some sturdy branches to provide a leafy den.
Back on earth, a trellis tent or lean-to may be erected, and clothed with a sweet scented canvas of honeysuckle.
In even smaller gardens the only solution may be a bamboo wigwam smothered with runner beans, into which junior can crawl and consider, if not the lilies, why Mum and Dad are digging a huge hole in the lawn and filling it with sand.
Gardening: April is a sow-and-sow month Never mind the weather, says Fred Whitsey.
Put the first seeds down
By FRED WHITSEY
TURN the page of the calendar, and before you is the first weekend of April.
And you feel anxious about getting the first lot of seeds sown out of doors.
Anxious, because you know from past experience that when the convenient moment arrives for you to sow, the weather will turn wet or cold, even snowy, and effort and seed would be wasted, yet time is slipping by and the crops most worth raising are those that come first.
But this year the condition of the soil is on our side.
Add to this some newly-evolved simple techniques, and this year we can work according to the calendar, independent of the weather.
Charts published recently show how severe is the water shortage in many parts of the country.
But this means that the soil for seed-sowing can be done simply by covering a patch for a few days with a sheet of polythene anchored by bricks or stones  in the absence, of course, of cloches.
The plastic ones now on sale in every garden centre are much more manageable than the old glass type, which were always getting broken.
The arrival of fibre fleece, a lightweight fabric, also sold in garden stores, has transformed vegetable growing in several ways.
Once you have sown the seed, you cover the whole area with this.
It traps the warmth of the odd sunny spell, and wards off the critical few degrees of cold.
It admits both light and rain, though impedes the force of those heavy showers that can cake the soil, and sometimes wash out the seeds.
You can leave the fabric in place almost until you are ready to gather your crops as it is so light the plants just push it up as they grow.
Of course, this lightness means the wind can take it unless you anchor it down.
Regular users of it wrap the edges round wooden batons, secured with a few tacks, leaving these to rest on the ground, and rolling it up on the batons when the season is over.
All this applies to open-ground sowings, and of course it is the crops from these that move fastest as they suffer no transplanting adjustments.
They include beet, lettuce, broad beans, carrots, peas and spinach, all of which need to be sown as soon as possible now.
What must seem stupid to non-gardeners, or those who take a rational view of the whole business, is that when you prepare the ground for sowing you first dig it over and make it loose, only to tread it firm again.
But in the process you are refining the soil to the liking of the roots that in a little while will ramify in it.
You are letting in the air they like.
You are incorporating humus on which the beneficial bacteria thrive and which both drains the soil of surplus moisture, yet holds it in the right degree.
You are also turning up the relics of perennial weeds that can be difficult to eliminate later.
While vegetables generally have the capacity to germinate soon after spring sowing, however low the temperature drops, flower seeds, also due for sowing soon on adjacent land to provide cut flowers during the summer, do need more warmth to get going.
The same techniques and ground preparation suits them, though of course the fleece has to be removed when the seedlings are up.
These include the old favourite annual chrysanthemums and larkspur, clarkia and godetia, sweet peas and asters, cosmos and cornflowers.
It is also quite possible to grow several exotic-looking annuals from direct ground sowings; the trumpet-like salpiglossis, so ornately marked, the schizanthus usually seen as an early summer pot plant and zinnias, the closest thing you can get to those expensive gerberas.
When you tip the seed from the packet it is hard to believe that from almost every one a plant will arise, so do not let them fall too thickly into the soil.
The impulse to ' make sure ' must be curbed.
Again, when the seedlings are up you have to be harsh and thin, thin, thin.
Perpetual spinach and carrots will tolerate growing close together, but any flowering plant wants elbow room if it is to develop a stem strong enough to support the branches that will spring from it.
The telephone number of Rolawn Ltd, Elvington, York, given incorrectly two weeks ago, is 0904 608661.
Anthony Noel's garden at 17 Fulham Park Gardens, London SW6 is open 2.30  6pm on Sunday June 7, not on a Saturday, as stated recently.
Travel: An offer you can refuse Mark Edmonds is all for haggling  but not when it turns to meanness
By MARK EDMONDS
THE depressed state of our own economy recently presented holidaymakers bound for Asia and Africa with an unexpected opportunity to practise shopping techniques common in some parts of the globe before they set off.
With retail sales in decline, haggling  usually more appropriate to the souks of Tangier than our domestic department stores  is becoming more common here.
In Morocco and many other Arab countries, haggling is a deeply ritualised affair.
And while holidaymakers are whipped up to almost frenzied levels of opportunistic greed by guidebooks which insist that real travellers never pay the first price they are quoted, few have any prospect of coming out of a deal better than the merchant who initiated it.
' Sometimes a merchant in a souk will settle for perhaps a profit of only five per cent, ' says Mr Latif of the Moroccan Tourist Board.
' That will be enough for him, because he knows that next time he will make more money, perhaps 10, perhaps even 50 per cent.
That is the way he conducts his business and that is the way it has been for centuries. '
' If you don't want or don't have time to haggle, ' says Mr Latif, ' you should make sure you buy your carpet, your jewellery, or your woodwork from a fixed-price store.
These shops sell items which are produced and sold by co-operatives, and both price and quality is guaranteed.
If you do decide to buy from a private bazaar you will be expected to haggle.
No merchant will imagine that you will agree to pay the first price he suggests.
Your first offer should be about half what the merchant asks and you should beat him down from there. '
Guidebooks and holiday brochures make a point of explaining ploys which can be adopted to bring a price down.
The Rough Guide for Morocco, for instance, suggests that it may help to take along an apparently disinterested friend to the shop or bazaar: in an effort to hurry the deal along, your friend is supposed to express the desire to leave.
In Asia, haggling is widespread, although its intricacies are neither as complicated nor as deeply engrained as in the Middle East.
In India, fixed-price shops exist not only for the benefit of travellers; locals use them as well.
Although haggling is common in countries such as India, it is a mistake to assume that it is standard practice throughout the world.
To their shame, many tourists fired up by the prospect of making a fast rupee, dirham or peso are prepared to haggle for everything, ranging from the price of a cup of tea to an airline ticket.
Such is their determination that the actual value of the item they want to buy  in comparison with what it would cost at home  becomes irrelevant.
All that matters is getting one over the trader.
In general, the rule with haggling is to do as the locals do, taking particular care not to beat down those who are selling items they have made themselves.
Middlemen, as Trisha Barnett of the pressure group Tourism Concern points out, are much less vulnerable.
' We came across some people from Papua New Guinea who were selling handicrafts and were confronted with a boatload of western tourists  all convinced they could buy for a knock-down rate.
The people selling the stuff had never come across haggling before and they were left thinking that it is the norm in western society.
' The saddest thing is that we've been persuaded that true travellers know how to haggle.
We seem to forget just how little these items actually cost.
A piece of handicraft may cost just a few pence in our terms, so where is the virtue in knocking it down any further? '
Travel: New jab for travellers
A NEW vaccine against the infectious liver disease Hepatitis A, ' Havrix ', has this week been introduced in the UK: a course of two injections in the arm followed by a booster which could give up to 10 years' immunity.
It will be a welcome alternative to the large, somewhat painful and short-term injection of immunoglobulin administered to the bottom, with which travellers to the countries indicated in black, right, will be familiar.
Travel: Doubled up
By Tania Cagnoni
SINGLE travellers would be justified in being up in arms over InterCity Sleeper's latest ad suggesting that you: ' Save money.
Sleep with a friend. '
A two-berth InterCity Sleeper cabin is offered for 25 until May 10 as opposed to the usual 50 if two people travel; single travellers still have to pay 25 per berth unless they buy two rail tickets.
This applies on journeys between London and Scotland, the West Country and the North West.
Travel: A saga of sun, sea and sex
By Sarah Edworthy
D. M. THOMAS, author of The White Hotel and delver into sexual fantasy, holds erotic writing weekends at his home in Cornwall.
From May 16  29, however, he will be hosting the first session of amatory writing courses at the European Centre for Holistic Studies on the Greek island of Skyros  very apt for someone preoccupied with sex, death and the Oedipus complex.
Prospective students, anxious for sun and romance as well as the release of their creative genius, should gird themselves by reading Swallow, Thomas's novel about an Olympiad of storytellers which involves hours and hours of improvising in prose and verse.
Perhaps, though, the enchanted Aegean island will see Thomas  once described as a ' weather-worn cherub '  less of a taskmaster and more of a Cupid.
Two-week workshop holiday costs from 475, excluding travel.
More information on 071 267 4424.
Travel: All change for the bureaux
ByMark Edmonds
BUREAUX de change are at last being forced to offer travellers detailed information about the rates they offer and the commission they charge.
New legislation, which comes into force on May 18, insists that all money-changers  be they high street banks, travel agents, hotels or specialist bureaux de change  display clearly their exchange rates and sometimes outrageous commission charges.
At present unscrupulous operators  bureaux de change are not subject to Government licensing  attempt to attract unwitting customers by promising an apparently reasonable rate of exchange.
Often only after the transaction has been completed will the customer be made aware of the commission involved  sometimes up to 10 per cent of the amount being changed.
The charges and exchange rates should be visible from outside the bureau and then detailed in a receipt to be given to the customer after the transaction.
Exchanges done through cash machines which can not issue receipts are exempt from this provision.
Bureaux that ignore the new laws run the risk of being taken to court by local trading standards authorities, and fined.
Travel: Ski accidents take a tumble
By Peter Hardy
THE number of avalanche deaths in the main Alpine countries has dropped by as much as 70 per cent  perhaps because of the consistency of snow cover throughout the winter.
With only four weeks of the season remaining, 10 people have so far been killed in avalanches in Switzerland against the national average of 37 during the winter months.
Unofficial figures from the other major Alpine countries suggest similarly low statistics, with Austria reporting only six avalanche deaths to date.
The reason, according to the Davos Snow and Avalanche Research Centre which recorded the figures, is that there is so much more snow than usual this year.
' We've got more snow up here and all over the Swiss Alps than we have had in 50 years, ' said Dr Othmar Buser, whose research centre is perched at 2,660m on the Weissfluhjoch above Davos.
' Generally, the more snow, the less danger there is to skiers.
The snow is so deep  three metres outside the door here  that after big storms, potentially dangerous ski areas remain inaccessible for a few days.
This allows the snow to gain some stability.
' Of course, the more snow, the more avalanches come down on to roads and into the valleys, but it is skiers who are normally most at risk. '
The sub-zero temperatures which have accompanied the latest heavy storms are good news for skiers planning late Easter holidays.
Not only is the snow cover likely to remain comfortable in the high resorts right into the start of May, but the lower the temperature, the safer the snow.
' As long as the low temperatures continue, we are happy that the avalanche danger is contained, ' added Dr Buser.
The number of skiers killed or injured on piste is also continuing to fall, according to statistics released by the Austrian Ski Federation.
In the 11 weeks up to March 20, a total of 46 people died on the snow in Austria.
The statistics include heart attacks and other natural causes as well as accidents to hikers, climbers, and mountain workers.
A total of 14 people died on the piste including four casualties of the chairlift accident in Carinthia and four heart attacks.
Only one person was reported killed as a result of a collision with another skier.
A further eight skiers were killed in accidents close to the prepared piste, and 18 were killed climbing or skiing in open country.
Dr Klaus Leistner, secretary-general of the Austrian Ski Federation, said: ' One death in skiing is one death too many, but our statistics show that, because of public awareness and the great improvements in equipment, the sport is becoming safer.
The number of injuries is actually going down in proportion to the increased number of skiers.
' When you consider that Austrian lifts handled 480 million passengers last year and that 2.5 million native Austrians are skiers  excluding tourists  the accident figures are very small.
The chance of being killed is 0.9 per 100,000. '
Travel: A Wright little gem Hugh Massingberd visits an intimate manor house, newly opened to the public, in the Derbyshire plague village of Eyam
By HUGH MASSINGBERD
TO ARRIVE from London at Chesterfield station in Derbyshire  avoiding the gents' toilet, where I have slipped up before  and then, after admiring the celebrated crooked spire, to find myself, within a few minutes, in the rugged landscape of the Peak, is an exhilarating experience.
My townie taxi-driver also found it a bewildering one, for the village of Eyam, tucked away behind the hills that form Middleton Dale, is still a pretty remote and isolated spot.
' Say, duck, ' he accosted a woman petrol pump attendant, ' is this the right road for Eyam? '
' Ay, luv, ' she replied, ' it is. '
Ah!
These warm-hearted Northerners, I reflected, so gloriously ' incorrect ' in their dealings  a sentiment amplified by the sighting of an advertisement for local keep-fit classes headed ' Tums and Bums'.
The driver assumed that I had come to see the church at Eyam, with its special exhibition featuring the events of 1665 and 1666, when the bubonic plague visited the village.
In my ignorance, I had never heard of this extraordinary saga, and I did indeed spend some absorbing time in the church learning something about it.
The story goes that in September 1665 a parcel of cloth arrived in Eyam from London, where the plague was then rife, and infected the villagers.
As the plague spread, some residents fled, including, I was sorry to see, the local squirearchical family, the Bradshaws  ancestors, incidentally, of that doughty opponent of Fascism, Christopher Isherwood, who decamped to California in 1939.
But the Rector, the Rev William Mompesson, stood firm and declared a kind of quarantine, setting bounds round the parish beyond which no-one was supposed to pass.
The big landowner of the region, the Earl of Devonshire, arranged for food and other necessities to be left at dropping zones.
This way the infection was kept within the parish boundaries.
It was an act of heroic self-sacrifice.
Out of some 350 who remained in Eyam, only 83 survived.
Mompesson, whose wife was among those to succumb, wrote that Eyam had become ' a Golgotha  a place of skulls; and had there no been a small remnant of us left, we had been as Sodom and Gomorrah.
' My ears never heard such doleful lamentations.
My nose never smelt such noisome smells, and my eyes never beheld such ghastly spectacles'.
Moving and inspiring though all this was, in fact I had come to Eyam to attend the opening of Eyam Hall, in the village, by the present Duchess of Devonshire.
It was, as the Duchess said in her speech, an exciting event because Derbyshire had so few smaller manor houses of this type open to the public  and what made it all the more special was the fact that Eyam Hall is still the family home of the Wrights, who built (or rather rebuilt) it, a few years after the plague, in 1671.
Eyam is, in short, a little gem.
Set above a handsome forecourt, the stone house has four well-spaced bays, mullioned windows, parapets and gables.
Inside is a cosy familial atmosphere, enhanced by portraits of such worthies as Maj John Wright (ADC to ' Gentleman Johnny ' Burgoyne in the American War of Independence), and by fine English furniture.
The robust staircase would seem to be in an earlier style than the architecture of the house.
Upstairs, the tapestry room is full of pastoral patchwork incorporating pieces from 15th-century Flemish work, as well as 16th-century Brussels tapestries.
In the library there is a hair-raisingly gory book on display entitled A Survey of the Microcosm or The Anatomie of the Bodies of Man and Woman (1675) by Michael Spaher.
More reassuringly, there is an evocative collection of old toys in the nursery, including a rocking horse made by Ayres in the 1890s.
The present Wright squire, Robert, a 43-year-old solicitor, inherited the property from the widow of his cousin Charles (a schoolmaster known as' Daddy Wright ' to his pupils at King Edward VI Grammar School in Sheffield), in 1990.
Since then, Robert and his wife Nicola have carried out a thorough and sympathetic restoration.
Renovations in the old kitchen have revealed an impressive array of stone arches and flagstones.
' The most nerve-wracking moment, ' recalls Nicola Wright, ' was when we discovered the live First World War German mortar bomb, which cousin Charles had brought home as a souvenir. '
The bomb, which has been safely disposed of, is not on display, but there is much else to admire in the way of embroidery, china, glass, silver and costume.
Eyam is a small, intimate house, so don't all rush to see it at once, for the guides can accommodate only limited numbers on their tours.
But while you are waiting, there is plenty to see in the historic ' plague village ', such as the village stocks, the original ' Plague Cottage ' and, of course, the church of St Lawrence.
Apart from the plague exhibition, there is a modern stained-glass window by Alfred Fisher depicting the plague story; a Saxon cross combining pagan and Christian symbolism; a rare 18th-century sundial; and the tomb of Mrs Mompesson.
Oh yes, and don't miss the gravestone in the churchyard of the Derbyshire cricketer Harry Bagshaw.
The ending of old Harry's innings is represented by a ball shattering his stumps and an umpire's finger raised unequivocably upwards to that great pavilion in the sky.
Eyam Hall in Derbyshire is off the A623, 12 miles west of Chesterfield, 15 miles south-west of Sheffield.
Open until Oct 25 on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, plus Bank Holiday Mondays, from 11am  4.30pm.
Travel: The thatched cottage with a well-appointed ' cell block '
By Paddy Burt
ROLF VOSS of Yalbury Cottage Hotel is not amused when I refuse to book in via credit card  ' I 'll be paying by cash. '
Not quite able to turn this down, he insists instead that I telephone him on Saturday morning to confirm.
When I do, he throws me.
' What time will you be arriving? '
' Oh about half-past four. '
' You may find the door locked, ' he says mysteriously.
' If so, please ring the second bell. '
I had understood Yalbury Cottage to be a hotel.
Indeed, Mr Voss had last year written to The Daily Telegraph extolling the place  ' for patrons who wish to relax in comfort and splendour and enjoy the delights of haute cuisine '  and complaining that it wasn't fair that Paddy Burt had written about a nearby Dorset establishment (albeit unfavourably).
' We consider our wares to be as good in every aspect as those provided at the other hotel, ' he said.
But surely hotels are open to guests?
It seems not.
On arrival we find ourselves ringing the second bell.
Mr Voss goes through an elaborate unlocking process.
' Naughty cat, she wouldn't let you in then, ' he chides the moggie disporting itself on the carpet.
After we've signed the visitors' book, he reproaches my husband for picking up his bag: ' We have a bag-carrying service. '
I hang on to mine, thank you very much.
Now he escorts us out into the rain, along a gravel path, through another locked door and into the annexe where our room is.
He's extremely cheerful, if somewhat misguided, as he points out the many features of the room, and mentions that the public rooms in the Cottage will be opened at seven o'clock.
Two minutes later he's back carrying the bag.
Perhaps he wants a tip?
No, he's the proprietor.
Somewhat gloomily we fall back on our beds in the room I have by now christened the Cell Block.
There's nothing actually wrong with it, but it's soulless.
Brownie points, though, for the clock radio, iron and bathrobes  if none for the heating, which consists of a Dimplex convector-cum-night storage heater.
We try in vain to turn it up.
' Totally unsuitable for a hotel room, ' mutters my husband.
As dinnertime approaches, we cheer up.
Hooray, the Cottage door is unlocked and there's a rather nice sitting-room with armchairs and sofas and real people sitting there studying menus and wine lists.
The menu describes itself as a ' Supper Menu ' and emphasises there's no need for reservations.
My husband chooses poached gougons of halibut, salmon, sole and prawns in a white-wine sauce with mushrooms and asparagus finished with fondant potatoes topped with cheese with a green salad  phew!
And  funny  my tender breast of chicken filled with garlic butter and herbs sauteed in sunflower oil with savoury rice and side salad reminds me of the chicken Kiev we occasionally buy in the supermarket.
The puddings are in the same mould.
The first wine we order is off, the second arrives, with apologies, unchilled  while at another table a woman complains her bottle of red is too warm.
Coffee's extra.
Back to our cell, which, after a word with Mr V., is like a sauna and remains so all night despite open windows.
And why is there a container of cleaning materials in our ' upmarket ' bathroom?
No time to ponder.
Breakfast is from 8.30 to 9am.
Glancing towards the car park, I am transfixed by the sight of a man in a flat cap cleaning our car.
He never asked.
At breakfast, a dozy waitress brings the wrong things.
When Mr V. appears, we accuse him of car cleaning.
' It was my brother, ' he jokes.
I suppose I 'm not surprised, upon getting the bill, to find our stay isn't exactly a bargain  138.60 for dinner, bed and breakfast for two.
Mr Voss then adds insult by saying he 'll give me two Yalbury Cottage postcards (showing its thatched cottage side) instead of my change.
Words fail me  almost.
Travel: Copse and robbers Christopher Somerville sees how woodland has usurped the ancient cattle thieves of the Cheviot Hills
By CHRISTOPHER SOMERVILLE
WHEN a Charlton chief sat down to dinner in times gone by and found a spur on the table where his meal should have been, he knew the cupboard was bare once more.
His wife was telling him to saddle up and steal a fresh batch of cattle from his neighbour's herds.
The families of North Tynedale in westernmost Northumberland  Charltons and Robsons, Milburns and Dodds  were never slow to lay hands on each other's property in the lawless old days.
Here, where the Scottish border ran across the Cheviot Hills, far from civilisation, ' reiving ', or cattle-thieving, was a way of life.
Remoteness is still the keynote of this region, but a Charlton reiving party would be hard put to it these days to work up a good gallop along the upper reaches of the North Tyne River.
Since 1926 the western fringes of the Cheviots have been planted with 250 square miles of close-packed conifers, while in their depths sprawl the seven miles of the Kielder Water reservoir, Europe's largest man-made lake.
I found it hard to picture what kind of landscape those statistics might have shaped, until I opened the Ordnance Survey map to find half of it coloured green with a great blue stain in the centre.
Kielder Water is beautiful, and the Kielder trees formidably impressive in their domination of the hills.
But by the time I had turned off the road from Bellingham at Kielder village and driven up the bumpy Forest Drive to East Kielder Farm, I was longing for the sight of something other than water and trees.
Relief was at hand.
The farm stands on a spur of moorland on the northern edge of the forest, and within 10 minutes I had turned my back on the corduroy battalions of trees and was striding under a still, cloudy sky over tussocks of rush and coarse grass, with my face to the long, bare shoulders of open hillside that flank the winding shallows of the East Kielder Burn.
The footpath that runs with the burn is not one of those carefully waymarked and leafleted by the Forestry Commission.
There are few attractions for the Kielder tourist here.
The burn threads a wild and inhospitable crevice of the hills, where the wind blows cold and the sense of isolation grows with each lonely mile.
Walking here, you leave the 20th century behind on the outskirts of the forest and enter the reconstructed emptiness in which the reivers and cross-border raiders of the past could operate unhindered.
I squelched across tiny burns running in black channels of peat, and stood looking down from the hillside on to the grey roofs of Scaup Farm.
The hollow barking of a dog came from one of the stone sheds, but there was no sign of life around the buildings.
Scaup must be just about the loneliest farm in England, tucked down in the shelter of the hills with Kielder Forest's dark mass blocking its southward view and the narrowing valley of the burn filling half the sky to the north.
The East Kielder Burn divides here into Scaup Burn and White Kielder Burn.
I dropped down the hill to ford White Kielder upstream of the ruined farmstead of Kielder Head, where a line of stunted alders, shaggy with lichen, leaned over their leafless reflections in the peat-brown water.
Spring comes late to this windbitten and rain-soaked valley.
But there were new-born lambs in the sheep pens of Scaup, and a cheery ' Hello now ' from the farmer and his wife tending them.
Those were the last human voices I heard all day.
No-one lives up here in the cleft of the White Kielder Burn.
The rough land is altogether too harsh and unyielding, giving sustenance only to sheep, and to the conifers high on the flanks of East Kielder Moor and Grey Mares Knowe, immense sweeps of hillside to right and left of the valley.
The footpath on the left bank of the burn was little better than a sheep track, but there were clues to its former importance as a droving road over the hills to Byrness in Redesdale.
Large boulders stood out beside the path as grey blobs in the featureless sheets of pale grass, and flat stones had been placed as bridges across the burns, their backs hollowed by the tread of feet through the centuries.
Following these now disregarded signs of past activity along the old path, I traversed the hillside and came down to a crumbling stone sheepfold with the roofless remains of a shepherd's hut built into one wall.
The tiny single room was jammed with the mossy timbers of disused sheep pens, but the little iron fire grate that once warmed the hardy men who worked here was still set in the foot of the hut's tottering gable end, and the massive stone lintel had not yet fallen from its place above the doorway.
A dipper flew up from the burn as I emerged from the hut, his white breast flashing as he darted downstream.
Somewhere ahead in the crags of Kielderhead Moor a hawk was whistling, a piercing sound in the lonely valley, overlain for a few heart-stopping moments by the snarl of a jet.
That jarring manifestation of furious technology seemed as remote and ridiculous as a dream, as silence settled down on Kielderhead and the hawk's whistle came down from the moors.
The valley of the White Kielder Burn steepened again as I trudged north, its curves tightening.
Now the path ran through heather high above the burn, past circular sheepfolds long disused and over the stony beds of side streams where the grass hung smooth and inviting, concealing ankle-breaking drops.
A mile above the shepherd's hut the hillsides ceased their upward rolling and curved together to form a dead-end valley of broad-breasted slopes five miles from the nearest tarmac road, hidden deep in the folds of the moors.
The old drover's road turned aside here and climbed under the rock faces of White Crags to continue its lonely course over Girdle Fell and down into Redesdale.
I could have gone with it, giving myself four blissful miles of upland walking followed by as many miserable hours of fruitless searching for return transport to East Kielder Farm.
Instead I lay back in the heather and savoured the trickle of the burn and the crisp smell of peat-laden ground.
Not a sign of spring had yet penetrated this secret valley, but another month would put that right.
There were five miles of return tramping to face, but they, too, could wait awhile.
Travel: A pilgrimage sans progress Elisabeth de Stroumillo potters round Poitou
By ELISABETH DE STROUMILLO
PEOPLE tend to look vague when you mention Poitou.
' Umm... not a part of France we know... where exactly is it? '
Inland of La Rochelle, you say; north of Cognac and east of Limoges.
You sort of pass it without realising, going to the Dordogne.
' Ah yes  Cognac.
Nice is it? '
Well, better than that, and one of the best things about it is the fact that so few people, except the French themselves, bother with it.
Even for France, the variety to be found is enormous.
My passion is for its numerous Romanesque churches, in most cases humbly proportioned but elevated into unique works of art by the richness of their exquisitely-sculpted decoration; to go to Poitou/Saintonge and not look at any of its churches would be like going to an African game reserve and ignoring the animals.
For serious drinkers there is the production of cognac to investigate around Cognac, plus the chance to sample pineau, the powerful local aperitif made from young wine laced with cognac.
To the north, where Poitou borders on the Vendee, shapely clumps of trees are almost the only punctuation marks on widespreading marshy landscapes; to the south it bubbles with little rolling hills.
Water is everywhere: canals, streams, small busy rivers with charming names like the Boutonne, the Mignon and the Belle, and big lazy rivers like the Sevre Niortaise and the Charente.
The lower reaches of the Sevre Niortaise are swollen with the waters that once covered the whole area, until medieval monks started to dig a spider-web of ditches to drain it.
Now the Marais Poitevin is a pleasantly low-profile tourist attraction where you can take canal-boat trips from villages that have hardly changed in the 15-odd years I've known them: Maillezais, with a huge and rather dull ruined abbey, and Coulon, where I first ate the delicious local version of moules marinieres called mouclade.
Drifting between grassy polders to which farmers have to ferry their cattle in punts, or following leafy twisting lanes marked only by rusty signs proclaiming the ' Venise Verte ', you're in an all-green, mysteriously silent world; only the occasional fisherman, twitching his rod above the algae-smothered waters, disturbs the stillness.
There is more greenery further south in the deep forest of Chize (with the fine Renaissance chateau of Dampierre-sur-Boutonne at its edge); and more marshes to the west around Rochefort and Marennes, where those mussels and oysters are raised.
One of the region's strangest townlets sits on those marshes: Brouage.
Somnolent now within its low grey walls and stumpy towers, it was once rich on salt, and powerful to boot.
It had a son to be proud of: Samuel Champlain, founder of Quebec, who was born there around 1569.
A century later, it had an adoptive daughter to weep for: 20-year-old Marie Mancini, niece of Louis XIV's minister Mazarin.
She went there when her romance with the young king was quashed for political reasons.
Months later, when Marie had departed, Louis is said to have paused nostalgically at Brouage on his way to Paris after marrying the Spanish Infanta at St Jean-de-Luz.
As you come back from Brouage towards St Jean-d'Angely  on the D18 via the canalside village of Pont-l'Abbe-d'Arnoult, with a lovely Romanesque church faade  a sign at the junction of the D122 points you to the chateau whose improbably perfect lake and gardens stare at you from posters throughout the region: La Roche Courbon.
Its most surprising room, covered from ceiling to floor in 17th-century paintings, should be a salon or library; instead, a dotty stone bathtub was set into one wall at a later date by a lady called Charlotte.
She never used it, having got some of the plumbing details wrong.
Wriggling across country on the D216 to Port-d'Envaux, you come to two more chateaux: 18th-century Panloy, flaking romantically away on its hillock overlooking a bend in the Charente and, almost next door, the much older, moated Crazannes, half-smothered in amazing flamboyant Gothic carving.
Crossing the autoroute and turning north on the D127 brings you to St Jean-d'Angely by way of the isolated church of Fenioux.
Its conically-roofed tower, hugged about by a brood of smaller roofs shaped like candle snuffers, is visible for miles.
St Jean-d'Angely is a charming little town: there are good shops as well as half-timbered houses along its narrow old streets, one spanned by an ancient bell-tower.
There's also a Renaissance fountain, and an extremely odd conglomeration of church buildings comprising one ancient ruin, one proper church, and the skeleton faade and nave of a rather pompous and unfinished 18th-century abbey.
It makes a conveniently central hub: the Marais Poitevin village of Coulon is 27 miles to the north by the D120, which inexplicably changes its number at the top of a hill to D115.
Niort is about the same distance by the parallel N150.
Saintes, with Gallo-Roman remains, a beautiful Romanesque abbey and an atmospheric medieval quarter, is 17 miles south of St Jean; 15-odd miles to the north-west is Surgeres, all of whose public buildings, including an engagingly asymmetrical church, are within the 16th-century castle walls, scattered among beautiful gardens and parkland  perfect for picnicking.
Just under 10 miles south-west of St Jean, on the Brouage road, St-Savinien is at the upper limit of the tidal reaches of the Charente.
The villagers' main hobby seems to be fishing with peculiar, saucer-shaped nets suspended from precariously-perched bankside huts.
One fisherman waxed lyrical about the variety of fish in the river.
' Even salmon, ' he assured me, ' but of course those are protected and must be thrown back.
Which they are... normalement. '
Like almost every other Poitevin town and village, St-Savinien has a sweet Romanesque church; Melle, indeed has three.
But Aulnay, just over 10 miles north-east of St Jean, is probably the best, its unassuming architecture a perfect frame for the sheer artistry of the carvings round its doors and windows.
Biblical motifs recur  some art-experts call them sermons in stone, and their messages would certainly have been clear to the often-illiterate medieval pilgrims trudging to Santiago de Compostela in Spain.
But these themes are always interspersed with more fanciful ones: grimacing masks, weird animals, exuberant abstract patterns.
I think those 10th- and 11th-century sculptors were motivated not just by piety but also by a certain competitive spirit: if a church was finer than the one in the next village, more pilgrims would surely pause there.
Today's attraction-merchants are doing no more to lure 20th-century tourists than their medieval forebears did for pilgrims.
Travel: Doing the Twist with the wild men of Borneo In search of excitement: a teenager describes an arduous trek on the other side of the world; her mother describes the difficulties of dealing with an adventurous daughter.
We also give a round-up of opportunities for those setting their sights on distant horizons Clare Keen finds you need music and a sense of humour for the jungle
By CLARE KEEN
OUR CAMPING gear included army surplus hammock, mosquito net and waterproof poncho.
The one essential not on our kit-list was a sense of humour, and anyone who forgot this suffered for it.
At least the teasing was entirely indiscriminate.
Privacy was not a word in our vocabulary, and postcards and diaries were mercilessly read aloud as we trekked through the jungle of North Borneo.
There were 13 of us, aged 17  19, and we were on a month-long adventure organised by World Challenge Expeditions, a company which offers young people the opportunity to join treks around the world, from the mountains of Nepal to the rainforests of Ecuador.
The expeditions are based on the ethos of ' Challenge, Participation and Environment ', and strong emphasis is also placed on teamwork and leadership.
Selection for the trip involved an interview for every candidate and, for some, an assessment weekend, though I missed this as I was a late entrant.
The build-up training at Easthampstead Park, in Berkshire, was a chance for the group and the two leaders to get to know each other.
People came from all over Britain  from a quiet Scottish village to the suburbs of Manchester  but everyone appeared to have a relatively comfortable background.
This did not mean their parents had happily shelled out the 2,000 for the trip  many had been sponsored by local firms and one girl had taken out a bank loan.
As guidebooks will tell you, you should not rush your acclimatisation period when you arrive in the Far East.
But we had only a month in Borneo and after just three days  rather than the recommended three weeks  relaxing in Miri, the capital of Sarawak, we were looking forward to getting down to some trekking, the purpose of the trip.
This first ' phase ' of the trip took us to the caves of Mulu National Park and Gunung Mulu mountain.
Once we started trekking we soon discovered that mental attitude and camaraderie were far more important than physical fitness.
There was a lot of teasing and we had soon thought up nicknames for each other.
As we walked some of us played Twenty Questions to keep us going.
' Yes, ' said the Mr Bean lookalike.
' Is he an entertainer? '
Others preferred Walkmans.
Singing along to them in the middle of the jungle did seem a little odd, but it kept our minds off things, even if it invited torrents of abuse.
Our first trek, up Gunung Mulu, was the hardest of the whole expedition and came as a shock to the system.
It was supposed to take three to five days, but we aimed to do it in two.
Although there were tracks, they were not very clear, and the going was made harder by the tree roots and vines which tripped up anyone who was foolish enough to try to look around.
The climb was so steep that in places it could be made only with the help of ropes.
The group tended to string out, with the fittest boys at the front, and the girls well behind.
The leaders had their work cut out keeping the group together, and one or both had to remain at the back to motivate the slower ones  the most effective method seemed to be carrying their kit, though this tended to be a last resort.
When we got to the halfway camp, two of us were not feeling up to the rest of the climb, and spent the night there.
For those who made the summit, it was, disappointingly, shrouded in cloud.
The next day, although three of the team made the descent by mid-afternoon, the rest spent three or four hours walking after dark, with only a few torches between them to light the way.
To say we were physically exhausted does not begin to describe how we felt when we finally made it, and it was only a small consolation to hear that we would not start until 9 am the following morning.
This trek also marked our first encounter with leeches.
The less squeamish members of the group had the delight of checking the others' feet, while they sat with gritted teeth and eyes tight shut.
The most effective prevention for leeches was not our trouser elastics, as we had believed, but a squirt of insect repellent around the tops of our boots.
This was about the only use for insect repellent, as the mosquitoes seemed to have become hardened to the hundreds of tourists who had trekked through before us.
The next trekking phase, in Bario, was a much easier eight-day walk through a series of villages.
Although described by the World Challenge brochure as an area rarely visited by Europeans, it turned out to be popular enough with tourists for each village to have its own visitors' book!
The villagers lived in a single, communal building known as a longhouse, built on stilts to prevent flooding in the rainy season.
Each family had its own bedrooms in one building, joined by short plank walkways to the main living area, where again each family had its own space with a small cooking area.
There were no solid divisions between neighbours, and the children played up and down the length of the house.
Evening distractions were few, although we did hear Sinead O'Connor blasting out in the early hours in one village, and we spent one evening joining in with some traditional dancing  the original Twist!
The longhouses were a welcome break after a day's trek and were a great experience.
Our hosts were most generous, sharing their food with us and insisting on giving us their bedrooms.
This made our Bario trek the easiest in terms of home comforts.
For much of the rest of the time we slept and cooked out, though most people never actually slept in their hammocks as the trees grew inconveniently far apart.
Instead we used our ponchos as makeshift tents.
Between two people one poncho was used as a groundsheet and the other was strung up and pinned down with home-made pegs.
The high point of the whole trip for me came when seven of us trekked into the mountains to spend the night by a waterfall.
The climb was very tough, taking eight hours in all, and in places the guides had to cut away the plants to clear a route.
As we climbed higher the jungle became more marshy and exotic, with the sort of plants you usually only see as plastic decorations.
Now the guides' training in jungle warfare came into its own.
Their curious calling attracted some gibbons, our first real sighting of wildlife.
Then the guides lured a barking deer, with the sound of a pipe they made out of half-split bamboo.
They promptly shot it for dinner, a welcome break from dehydrated rations.
They spent half an hour skinning it and gutting it, taking almost everything, including the brain and intestines (which, fortunately, they kept for themselves to eat!).
The waterfall itself was spectacular, a 50 ft torrent falling over a sheer rockface, with moss-covered precipices rising on either side.
We made our camp in a small clearing by the top of the falls.
As it began to get dark, we all settled around the guides' fire, sharing the barbecued deer for supper.
As one of the leaders commented, this day's trek was exactly what we had come to the jungle for.
Our month in Borneo certainly didn't feel like an organised holiday.
The fact that we had definite goals on each trek, such as reaching a summit by sunrise, made the whole thing feel like an expedition.
But our two leaders had bitten off more than they could chew when they tried to make leaders out of the rest of us.
Our sense of adventure only went so far and we relied on them to make the decisions.
Team spirit was much in evidence though, with the fitter people helping the strugglers and always giving encouragement.
In this friendly atmosphere, plans for a reunion had already started before we were halfway through, and many people still keep in touch with each other back home.
Travel: It's a quite different class of excitement
By Richard Snailham
THIS SUMMER the British Schools' Exploring Society is celebrating its Diamond Jubilee.
Since its founding in 1932 the BSES has given more than 4,000 youngsters a taste of adventure and a chance to do some survey work, mainly in Arctic terrain.
This year there will be a Jubilee Expedition to the forest region of northern Finland to which the founder, Surgeon-Commander G. Murray Levick, RN, led the first expedition 60 years ago.
Levick's brainchild began life as the Public Schools' Exploring Society.
After the Second World War it broadened to include all boys' schools.
In the late 1970s, after a considerable hoo-ha, girls were recognised as fit to be young explorers and the first mixed expedition went to Arctic Norway in 1980.
In the early years the society mounted just one annual expedition for 50  65 boys; this year there will be four, involving over 150 young people.
But the essence remains the same: a Chief Leader has his team of leaders; the young explorers are divided into 12-strong ' fires'  a notion of Murray Levick 's, who said he wanted only as many people as could decently sit round a campfire.
Travel: When the young cry freedom Mary Keen takes a look at overseas adventure from the parent's point of view
By MARY KEEN
NEGOTIATING a holiday for teenagers is extremely delicate work.
Tears (though thankfully no blood) have been shed in our house trying to reconcile demands for freedom, adventure and excitement with worries over health, safety and expense.
The result for our three daughters has been French and Italian exchanges, Eurorailing, and country holidays in England or Ireland.
Last year, with her sisters now undergraduates, 17-year-old Clare was our chief concern.
One spring evening we had been out to dinner and came back to find Clare bounding downstairs with excitement.
' I 'm going on an expedition to Borneo, ' she said.
' It will be for a month this summer.
I can't believe my luck. '
' Really? '
I said, playing for time.
' Will it be with the Student Communist Party or Opus Dei? '  both risks springing to the mind of a parent living in an ancient university city.
' With World Challenge Expeditions  if I pass the interview. '
As the selection process hinged upon the spoken word I knew she'd be chosen.
World Challenge Expeditions meant nothing to us.
Its brochure promised amazing adventure in distant places  Borneo, India, South America  costing about 2,500.
The Borneo trip might have been designed to match Clare's wildest dreams, but it undoubtedly involved real risk.
A group of teenagers with two team leaders were to survive the rigours of a difficult climate while trekking through remote jungle and mountain areas with their possessions on their back and only their fellow expedition members to rely on.
The organisation's credentials and experience looked impressive, but our anxieties were genuine as we sent Clare off for her interview.
However, World Challenge has a way with worried parents.
Clare was let off the residential weekend which is a normal part of the selection process and was taken on the strength of her interview and written application.
Once accepted, she received detailed instructions for a fitness training programme, information on injections and medications needed and a pithy list of dos and don'ts.
They recommended equipment and had a discount arrangement with the mail order company Field and Trek, whose advice was excellent and whose rucksack proved a boon.
Our respect for the organisation grew.
We went to a reception to meet fellow members of the team and the leaders.
These were two ex-marines, one of whom had led the trek the previous year and who answered endless questions.
We also met the organisers.
As ex-Servicemen, they had not only dealt with the situations I feared most, but also those I could not imagine.
After Clare's six weeks of personal fitness training at home, as recommended by the marines, the day came to deliver her to Easthampstead Park for the 36-hour preparation period before the flight to Borneo.
Again, everything was done to reassure us.
We had coffee with the team members and their families and saw a slide-show of last year's trip.
Passports, travellers' cheques and malaria pills were all checked.
One of the organisers, Charles Rigby, put the whole thing into proportion as I was anxiously sorting out with Clare a second name for the next-of-kin slot at the back of her passport.
' It's a wonderful thing that they're all here and all OK, ' he said.
' One of the team members of our Nepal expedition had to drop out yesterday.
He'd picked up dysentery at a game fair in Hampshire! '
A month later we all met again at London Airport.
Clare looked incredibly fit and had had a wonderful time.
She is saving for another trip, probably in an informal group of friends.
The advantage of having trekked with a World Challenge Expedition is that another time she will know how things ought to be planned.
Their treks cost a lot of money, but strike a good balance between looking after people and keeping planning flexible enough to take advantage of unforeseen opportunities: on the Borneo trip some of them camped by a waterfall and, instead of eating dried provisions, cooked a deer shot by one of their guides.
The calibre of the expedition leaders ensures that these young travellers are able to complete trips that would be too complicated to organise for themselves.
My conclusion is that if your teenager has the temperament and enthusiasm for an expedition type of holiday, and if your purse will stretch to it, you should go for it  but choose the organisation carefully.
Travel: The great beyond Richard Snailham surveys organised adventure schemes for young people
By RICHARD NAILHAM
Arcturus Expeditions (formerly Erskine Expeditions) (038 983 204) introduces all ages to the wildlife and geography of the Arctic.
There are places on expeditions leaving in June, July and August for northern Norway, Svalbard, Greenland, northern Canada, Franz Josef Land and possibly Novaya Zemlya.
Cost 1,800  3,400.
Brathay Exploration Group (05394 33942) A revamped and excellent organisation which offers the best chance for 15- to 25-year-olds of getting on an expedition; this year to South China, Iceland, two to Norway (Lapland and Jotunheimen), around Mont Blanc and to several of the remoter parts of Britain.
Prices from 164  1,745 Bremex (Hugh Freeman, 071 229 9251) aims to give young people (16  30) experience in mountain, expedition and sea-canoeing skills, and instruction in group leadership.
Training, in Wembley, is on Tuesday evenings for enthusiasts in the London area, and through the winter there are weekend expeditions in the northern and western parts of Britain.
All aspects of expedition work are covered and certificates given at every level.
Beginners very welcome.
Coral Cay Conservation Programme (081 669 0011) for 18-pluses, a chance to do some important reef survey work off Belize.
Some diving tuition will be available in the UK prior to departure (novices welcome) and there is an intensive eight-day training programme on arrival in Belize.
Take part for one, two or three months from now until 1995.
Cost 1,600  3,000.
Drive for Youth (071 281 7020) aims to develop the potential skills and attitudes of capable, long-term unemployed aged 18  24.
It has a 22-week programme leading to placement in work or further education, including a four-week overseas project, in Romania or Germany this year.
Earthwatch Europe (0865 311600) offers openings for over-16s to help in scientific research in various countries.
Members share the cost of the conservation project, but limited grants are available for young people.
Activities include studying rhinos in Zimbabwe and radio-tracking wolves in Poland.Gap Activities Projects Limited (0734 594914) gives school-leavers a chance of work experience and travel abroad in their ' gap ' year between school and college.
Last year 500 students went overseas.
Apply this September for the summer of 1993.
Health Projects Abroad (071 583 5725) provides help to Africa's rural communities.
Young people from 18 to 28 spend three months living and working with local communities in Tanzania at a cost of 2,250, half of which goes towards project support.
There are pre-expedition selection and training weekends in Britain and recruiting for 1993 begins in the summer.
Ocean Youth Club (0705 528421 / 2) operates a fleet of 10 big sea-training vessels from various British ports.
Youngsters from 12 to 24 can cruise from seven days to three weeks.
Cost 33  44 per day  the only requirement is an ability to swim.
A very few places are still available for the Baltic Tall Ships Race in July.
Outward Bound Trust (0788 560423) offers excellent training in various outdoor pursuits in Wales, the Lake District, Scotland and in affiliated OB establishments in 20 countries abroad.
Courses are of eight, 12 or 20 days for different age groups from 14 upwards, and they earn a mention in the new National Curriculum.
The Project Trust (08793 444) is based on the island of Coll off the west coast of Scotland and is in its 25th year.
It helps young school-leavers to live and work abroad for 12 months, often as teachers, before taking up employment or further education.
Initial applications for work in the 17 countries available for 1993 can be made from April this year.
Raleigh International (formerly Operation Raleigh) (071 351 7541) is the biggest and best known of these organisations: nearly 6,300 young adventurers from 17 to 25 have taken part since 1984.
There are still places available for late 1992 to Malaysia, Zimbabwe, Chile and Namibia.
Ten expeditions are planned for 1993, including Brunei, Chile and Malaysia.
All expeditions last 10  11 weeks.
Two selection weekends are held somewhere in Britain almost every weekend.
Cost varies according to individual circumstances, and some commercial and government grants are available.
The Sail Training Association (0705 832055/6) run two 300-ton three-masted schooners, Sir Winston Churchill and Malcolm Miller.
Thirty-nine young people from 16 to 24 go for two-week voyages between March and December, which could help towards their Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award.
Cost from 550 for a two-week voyage.
Trekforce (071 498 0855) is run by Wandy Swales, ex-stalwart of Operations Raleigh and Drake, and plans expeditions in 1992 to Sumatra, Sulawesi and a two-part trip to Irian Jaya  the first major British scientific expedition there.
Places are still available on all these.
The objectives are scientific and adventurous and offer over-18s a chance to spend six weeks in deep rainforest between July and November.
Basic cost 2,500.
Yorkshire Schools Exploring Society (0532 842 653) is for Yorkshire schoolchildren aged 15 to 18.
It offers five destinations in yearly rotation.
Apply in early September for 1993's destination, China.
Expeditions last four weeks and leave last week in July.
Cost from approx 2,000.
More details available from the Expedition Advisory Centre at the Royal Geographical Society, 1 Kensington Gore, London SW7 2AR (071 581 2057).
Send a cheque for 4 payable to the RGS for the booklet Joining an Expedition.
Motoring: HOW THEY COMPARE
ROLLS-ROYCE SILVER SPIRIT Price 96,144 Length 17ft 3in Weight unladen 5,180 lb Engine 6,750cc V8.
Max speed 129mph, 0  60mph 10.5 seconds.
Fuel consumption At 75mph, 17.5mpg; urban driving 11.5mpg; overall average 15.8mpg.
Special features Four-speed automatic transmission; anti-lock braking system; fully independent suspension, with automatic height control and levelling, and automatic ride control with three levels of suspension (comfort, normal and firm).
Dual-level automatic air conditioning with the cooling capacity of 30 domestic fridges; electric operation of gear selector, windows, seat adjustment, mirrors, central locking.
Ten-speaker radio / cassette system; hand-crafted interior trim, with lashings of leather and burr walnut.
MERCEDES-BENZ 600SEL Price 86,154 Length 17ft 1in Weight unladen 4,828 lb Engine: 5,987cc V12, 408bph.
Max speed 155mph; 0  60mph 6.1 seconds Fuel consumption At 75mph, 20.6mpg; urban, 13.6mpg; overall average 18.3mpg Special features Four-speed automatic transmission; anti-lock braking; acceleration skid control; fully independent suspension with self-levelling; automatic climate control incorporating a charcoal filter; electric adjustment of heated seats (with memory control), windows, mirrors, steering wheel and electric rear roller blind; double-glazed side windows; self-closing doors and boot lid (avoiding the need to slam tight); automatic reversing guidance rods, which pop up when reverse is engaged.
Ten-speaker sound system; leather upholstery and walnut trim; automatic airbags for driver and front passenger.
Motoring: IS BIG BEAUTIFUL?
By JOHN LANGLEY
THE hyphenated Rolls-Royce really has only one world-class rival, the hyphenated Mercedes-Benz 600SEL.
Despite its reputation for fine engineering, Rolls-Royce has never been shy of using outside technology and components, inevitable now for a company of its small size.
The current models use a General Motors automatic transmission (with R-R's own finger-light electric selector) and German-made electronic engine management systems and anti-lock braking.
Which would I prefer to own?
As pure driving machines, there is no real comparison  the Mercedes is streets ahead.
Despite its bulk and weight, it handles like a much smaller car.
Its performance is formidable: in this context, a fairer comparison would be with the Bentley Turbo R from the Rolls-Royce stable.
But at the end of the day, superb machine though it is, the Mercedes is still just another Mercedes  one of more than half-a-million produced annually, all bearing the famous silver star.
So if you want to be noticed, and enjoy a more exclusive sense of well-being, there is still nothing like a Rolls.
Although the boy racers may jeer, it is still a very pleasant car to drive, as well.
But they are both just too big for everyday use.
Motoring: Can R-R keep up with the times?
John Langley asks whether ' the best car in the world ' has any sort of future
By JOHN LANGLEY
TWENTY-ONE years ago, Rolls-Royce Ltd went bust, and the nation shuddered.
Developing the new RB211 aero engine had proved too much for the world-famous engineering group's financial resources.
The collapse was not directly linked to the motor car side, but it threatened the cars' future.
So we all swelled with pride when, a fortnight later, the car company went ahead with the launch of its new Corniche coupe in the South of France.
Since then, Rolls-Royce Motors, the new public company formed two years later from the ashes of the parent group, has successfully re-established itself in its own rarefied niche at the top of the world's luxury car market.
Even those who did not endorse the company's claim to produce ' The Best Car in the World ' were prepared to give it the benefit of the doubt.
But now there is a new battle for the body and soul of Rolls-Royce.
Once again, the car company is in trouble and some are questioning its future.
From record profits of about 34 million and near-record sales of 3,333 cars in 1990, the car business turned in a loss of about 60 million last year as worldwide sales dropped to 1,731, dragging down the profits of the parent group, Vickers.
The setback has led to new speculation about a take-over or co-operative deal with BMW, Toyota, General Motors and others.
There are suggestions that Rolls-Royce may be unable to fund the cost of the new model, due out in the next few years, and that Vickers will not be able to carry the burden much longer.
More ominously, some are now asking whether the days are numbered for the last of the Edwardian motor cars  Rolls-Royce was founded in Manchester in 1904  and whether cars of this size, weight and cost can really be justified in an era of increased social awareness and growing environmental concerns.
However, both Sir David Plastow, the Vickers chairman, and Peter Ward, the Rolls-Royce Motors chairman and chief executive, insist that the gloom has been overdone and that structural changes introduced in the last year have made the company leaner and more efficient.
The introduction of Japanese-style working practices at Crewe is said to have brought the break-even point down from sales of about 2,700 cars a year to about 2,000.
Even so, some analysts question whether the company can finance a new model costing, perhaps, 250 million without outside help.
Sir David, who piloted Rolls-Royce Motors back to success after the ' 71 crash and who is due to retire next month, says: ' It depends how we do it  there are so many ways of developing a new Rolls-Royce.
We are under no pressure to do anything immediately.
We are not anxious to sell the company, but we are in discussion with a variety of people about co-operation and prospective linkages of various sorts. '
Peter Ward agrees: ' People are not walking away from the car.
We knew we would get a big loss this year partly because of the cost of the changes we have made.
Now, with sales of around 2,600 cars a year, we could actually make the same profits as we did in 1990 with 3,300 sales. '
But one insider who believes more radical changes will be needed is the erstwhile engineering director, Michael Dunn, who resigned this week to join an engineering consultancy group.
Dunn was brought in from Ford, where he was director of product development in 1983; he will be best remembered for the development of the Bentley Turbo R, now the company's best-selling model.
He did the engineering for the new Rolls, but is believed to have felt that a smaller, lighter and more economical new car should have been developed.
He says that ' surgery rather than an aspirin ' was required, especially at the top of the company.
Is there a future for the Rolls-Royce?
' Is it still ' the Best Car in the World '? '
I asked him.
' I never say it's the best car in the world, ' he replied, ' but I believe we are the best at making a car in our class.
There is a future for Rolls-Royce.
The challenge is to produce a car which is more attractive to more people and costs less to make, and to minimise or eliminate any social embarrassment in running one.
There is a change in social awareness.
' We have to make better use of material resources, with lighter and more efficient cars.
It has to be seen to be more socially responsible, to make people feel more comfortable about owning a Rolls. '
Although the fuel economy has improved by around 30 per cent over the past decade, there is evidence that the younger generation, in particular, feels the car is too ostentatious in today's environment.
Dunn believes the company has failed to put across the significant improvements made in the new car's fuel economy, reduced emissions and extra safety.
And he says: ' I don't think Rolls-Royce buyers want a small car.
They want space and they would expect it to be one of the bigger cars.
But we could well encounter sales resistance if it is the biggest.
' The main need is to minimise weight.
Now, with the demands for fuel economy, carbon dioxide emissions and toxic emissions, people will be taking extreme measures to reduce weight. '
So does Rolls-Royce still have a credible future  with or without outside help?
The success of the new Continental R, and before that the Bentley Turbo, shows that if it can make the sort of car that new customers approve of, it should still be able to find 3,000 buyers a year around the world.
But even Rolls-Royce must be seen to be moving with the times.
That will certainly mean a slightly smaller, lighter car with an engine of less than the present 6.75 litres.
Motoring: Rough ride back to to the roaring '40s
By DAVID TAYLOR
MY MOTORING seems to be bobbing about through a series of time warps, like Dr Who in his Tardis.
I had hardly finished rummaging through my snapshots of cars of the '50s (pictured here a fortnight ago) when I was transported back another 10 years to the 1940s.
Here and there it felt more like the Middle Ages.
What brought all this on was driving from Berlin to Leipzig and back.
I've been known to moan about the state of some of the roads in our neck of the Surrey woods, but the byways of darkest Saxony make my local rutted tracks seem smooth as glass.
When you have one wheel stuck in bent tramlines while the other is banging through mud-filled, cobble-strewn potholes the size of small mineshafts, it sharpens up your steering technique no end.
A year or so ago I motored for the fun of it through Latvia and Estonia, from Riga to what was then still Leningrad, and never thought to encounter such ramshackle roads again.
But nearly half a century of neglect has left the former DDR's network in a no less lamentable state of collapse.
They're working on it, but there are about 50,000 kilometres of roads in all and I was told that fully half of them need to be torn up and rebuilt from scratch.
Unfortunately, it appeared to be the same half that I had picked to explore.
And joining me on the journey was a never-ending line of lumbering construction plant, Brobdingnagian concrete-mixers, and juggernauts laden with rocks and sand.
Coming the other way, between convoys of trucks, was a motley mixture of Soviet or Polish-built old bangers, sleek new Golfs, beaten-up Wartburgs, the occasional Toyota, brand-new Audis, or still spluttering Trabants.
Even among that cosmopolitan crowd I felt awkward in my 1990s rented Renault runabout, but Berlin airport did not have anything for hire with half-tracks at the back, no period Kubelwagen Type 82 staff cars, a Schwimmwagen perhaps, or what I might have really gone for  an old Humber Super Snipe finished in khaki with white mudguards.
The creepy feel of the roaring '40s was more in evidence on the Berlin-to-Leipzig Autobahn, route No 1.
That was built by Hitler and, by the look of it, long stretches of its concrete had hardly been touched since.
Deserted watchtowers on stilts loom over major intersections.
I passed a military truck in the hedge.
Filling stations, rest rooms, or any other signs of roadside life can be 50 or more bleak kilometres apart.
Then, just as I'd half a mind to twiddle with the radio in case Marlene Dietrich was still on, there would be another lurch of the Tardis-like mood and I'd come upon a garishly-lit motel, freshly shipped across from the West, or else be smartly overtaken by a monstrous new Mercedes doing 200 kph or more with effortless abandon, at least until the next plunge into potholes and waterlogged scree.
Central Leipzig presented a similarly surreal mixture of eager aspirations and a down-at-heel recent past.
Shiny new BMWs were lined up for sale on the forecourt of what I took to be a condemned block of woefully austere flats, with a dilapidated factory next door.
I was carved up by a let-me-through Porsche, with a chap at the wheel chatting into his Deutsche Telekom mobile phone, and then caught up with the car again a few kilometres further on, where it had slithered on the wet cobbles and collided with an antique tram.
Later I turned and walloped back towards Berlin, by way of Magdeburg, with just the one tweak of the Tardis en route as I saw the signs for Potsdam.
Next day I was thrashing along the Kingston bypass again.
The traffic queue into London stretched back miles, for a sewer had collapsed in the centre of Wandsworth and gangs of workmen were tearing up the shattered road, apparently rebuilding it from scratch.
I sang Lili Marlene to myself as I inched past the concrete-mixers and lorries full of sand, wondering where the Tardis might be sending me next.
Food and Drink: A dish for the party Thane Prince with ideas for that all-night election stint
By THANE PRINCE
WHICHEVER party you will be supporting on Thursday, I suggest giving your own party at home for friends to share the late-night vigil.
For who among us is too world-weary to be awake and watching until the small hours of Friday morning?
Here are ideas for a running buffet, with a dish for each of the main party leaders.
For Neil Kinnock, a dish of leeks baked in Caerphilly sauce  easy to eat and comforting whatever the outcome.
Paddy Ashdown has an egg salad in a saffron mayonnaise on a bed of very curly green frisee lettuce  saffron being a much-used ingredient in the West Country; this has the advantage of also doubling as a dish for the Green party.
And for John Major?
My only culinary memories of Huntingdon are of seeing a pea-canning factory (now demolished) as I passed by on the train.
And not having an appetising recipe for tinned peas, I turned for inspiration to the PM's love of curry.
I have chosen a spiced chicken pilaff, which can be served with a fresh tomato and chilli chutney to liven things up if the evening looks a little dull.
The party may well last long into the night, so get in lots of sparkling water and wine  and don't forget the coffee.
A big bowl of salad, some crusty bread and fresh fruit is all you would need to serve alongside.
All recipes serve 8C10 as part of a buffet.
recipe start
EGG SALAD WITH SAFFRON MAYONNAISE 8 hard-boiled eggs Frisee lettuce 1 pinch saffron strands 2 tbsp white wine vinegar 2 egg yolks 1 tsp Dijon mustard 6 fl oz olive oil Salt and pepper HEAT the saffron in a long-handled kitchen spoon until it is lightly toasted, then crush and mix with the wine vinegar.
Allow to infuse for 15 minutes.
Place the egg yolks in a food processor or blender and add the mustard and half of the vinegar.
Process to mix; then, with the motor running, add the oil in a very thin stream.
After you have added half the oil put in the remaining vinegar and then the remaining oil.
Slice the eggs in half and arrange on a serving dish on a bed of torn frisee lettuce.
Just before serving spoon a little mayonnaise on to each egg.
CAERPHILLY AND LEEK BAKE 900g / 2 lb leeks (cleaned weight) 45g / 1? oz butter 45g / 1? oz flour 1 pint creamy milk 1 tsp mild mustard 110g / 4oz crumbled Caerphilly cheese Salt and pepper Topping 85g / 3 oz crumbled Caerphilly cheese 85g / 3 oz brown bread crumbs ? tsp celery seasoning 1 tbsp chopped parsley To finish 2 tbsp melted butter USING only the white part of the leeks, cut into 1 in pieces.
Blanch these in boiling water for two minutes and drain well.
Arrange the leeks in a buttered ovenproof dish.
Make a cheese sauce in the usual way and pour it over the leeks.
recipe end
recipe start
In a food processor, process the topping ingredient together and sprinkle over the dish.
Drizzle on the melted butter and bake in a pre-heated oven, 360F / 180C, gas mk 4, for 30C40 minutes.
SPICED CHICKEN PILAFF 6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts Marinade ? pint natural yogurt 2 tsp ground cumin 2 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp ground turmeric 3 cardamom pods, crushed ? tsp ground black pepper ? tsp cayenne pepper 1 in piece fresh ginger, grated Juice of a lemon To continue 3 tbsp oil 2 medium onions, chopped 4 in stick cinnamon 6 cardamom pods, crushed 66g / 2oz raisins 55g / 2oz slivered almonds 400g / 14oz basmati rice CUT the chicken into cubes.
Mix the marinade ingredients, add the chicken and leave for about two hours.
recipe end
recipe start
Heat the oil in a large saucepan and fry the onions until they brown; add the spices, raisins and almonds and fry for a further minute.
Now add the chicken and, stirring all the time, fry this for 2  3 minutes.
Put in the rice and stir well.
Now add about 1? pints of water and some salt.
Bring to the boil and simmer, uncovered, for 15  20 minutes.
The rice should absorb all the water and the chicken will be cooked through.
Serve warm with fresh chutney.
FRESH CHILLI AND TOMATO CHUTNEY 450g / 1 lb firm ripe tomatoes 1  2 fresh green chillies 1 large Spanish onion ? cucumber 1 bunch fresh coriander Juice of 2 lemons Salt CHOP the tomatoes, onion and coriander.
Cut open the chillis and remove the seeds.
Chop.
Cut the cucumber into tiny cubes.
Mix everything together and leave for flavours to develop.
recipe end
recipe start
recipe end
Food and Drink: The relaunch of lunch Restaurants are more fun at midday, says John Whitley
By JOHN WHITLEY
LUNCHTIME in Britain was never an occasion to whet the appetite of the serious private eater: most decent restaurants were cluttered up with expense-account company clodhoppers, making maximum use of their up-market luncheon vouchers.
But nowadays there's more elbow room and less cigar smoke  and the shrewder restaurateurs have set out to replace their lost business regulars by constructing lunch menus that are brief, light and designed to show off the chef's talents rather than the customer's credit rating; it's hard to believe that anyone can produce a good meal so cheaply.
Often the set lunches are so cheap, in fact, that they work as a loss leader  a taster to tempt people back in the evening.
And in a well-run establishment the leisurely lunch can actually be more fun than dinner  the kitchen is under less pressure, the room is less crowded and less smoky.
Even at the very top of the market there are amazing bargains.
Three courses may cost almost 100, but when the cooking is done by masters like Nico Ladenis or Pierre Koffmann this is real value for money and barely half the evening price.
Neither man holds back his star dishes: currently Ladenis features one of his most successful recent constructions, a wonderfully crusty, deep-flavoured Pithivier of quail.
Ladenis's cooking has become simpler, less dramatic and more concerned with texture.
Delicate chicken breast, for example, steamed then caramelised under a grill, is served in a bowl of perfectly cooked white coco beans.
Another spring masterpiece is a baby sole served on the bone so that its glutinous quality matches exactly a beurre blanc made of sherry and Madeira.
The only problem for bargain hunters is that there is nothing under 24.50 on the grand wine list  but that's a first-class Cotes du Rhone from Guigal which is ideal for midday.
Tante Claire is even more amazing value and throws in coffee and petits fours (variable) on its two menus, one fishy, the other meaty.
These have fewer choices per course, but are thoughtfully constructed and generous with major-league dishes.
This winter Koffmann has been reinterpreting Cabessal de lievre: instead of stuffing and braising the hare he lightly roasts the fillet and laps it in a deep spicy sauce grand veneur set off by a heap of nutty pates.
Such a meal is a special treat; but as the list below shows, there are more accessible menus around the country for barely the price of one child's pocket money.
They all dole out three courses unless stated otherwise; it's worth taking a day off work to get the full benefit, allowing for recovery time.
Food and Drink: Tales of the unexpected Oz Clarke tries wines that break the rules  and win
By OZ CLARKE
I THOUGHT I'd write this week about wines from unsung corners of the world, and began to round up the usual suspects  Cyprus, Israel, Canada, Belgium.
My interest in whether they were making much progress towards the glorious flavours beginning to arrive from Australia, New Zealand and Southern America was only somewhat tempered by a certain nervousness on behalf of my liver and my head.
Then I went through the samples in my kitchen and realised that, rather than look at the non-mainstream areas, I could look at wines from perfectly accepted areas that broke the usual conventions; or in one brilliant example, I could see what great traditional winemakers  in this case a pair of Burgundian grandees  could do when they decided to rough it a bit in France's far south.
This wine is so good, let's deal with it straight away.
Domaine de Triennes is a new venture in the Mediterranean Var region from the chap who makes Domaine de la Romanee-Conti wines and the chap who makes Domaine Dujac.
The Pinot Noir is their Burgundy red grape, but at Domaine de Triennes they've planted the Bordeaux grape Cabernet and the Rhone grape Syrah, and the result is explosively good: packed with pepper and spice, a deep lush damson and blackberry fruit and a light swish of sweet leather.
The Australians often use this grape combination, but they would be hard put to equal this quality for 4.65.
(Corney &amp; Barrow sell it from 12 Helmet Row, London, EC1; tel: 071 251 4051).
For this 1990 vintage they had the outstanding winemaker from Martinborough in New Zealand working there.
Now, I wonder if that made a difference.
And talking of unexpected wine styles, Australia has made something of a speciality of mixing Bordeaux Semillon grape with Burgundy's Chardonnay grape recently.
Australian Chardonnay has become so popular they have been suffering shortages, but there has always been loads of Semillon available.
So the Aussies blend them together and, when they apply a little oak ageing too, the result is a lovely fat wine, mildly spicy, but with a streak of lime.
Yet no-one else in the world had even considered such a blend, certainly not the Californians.
That is, until one of Penfold's Australian winemakers poled up at Geyser Peak winery in California and realised the price of Chardonnay was so high around the Sonoma Valley he'd never manage to make a 4.99 class white for our market.
Going back to his Aussie roots, he remembered the role Semillon played down there, but good Semillon is virtually non-existent in California.
Except in one area.
South of San Francisco, hemmed in by housing developments and shopping malls, the ancient Livermore Valley vineyards survive by the skin of their grapes.
And on these gravelly soils, the Semillon flourishes just as it does in Bordeaux.
Semchard (Oddbins, 4.99)  I know, I don't like the name either  is 75 per cent Livermore Semillon and the rest Sonoma Chardonnay; the flavour is quite unlike anything from California or Australia.
There is a lovely smell of apricot and cinnamon spice, a light but extremely attractive dry texture and the same gentle, approachable apricot and cinnamon taste.
It's more like a modern white Bordeaux than anything else.
Such a pity Chardonnay is banned in Bordeaux.
And I must admit I was pleasantly surprised to find Burgundy's Pinot Noir taking ever firmer root in Germany.
The Baden region is well to the south of Germany's more famous wine areas, and so receives far more sunshine, giving the growers greater flexibility in what kinds of wine they can make.
Because Germany's reputation was created by the Riesling wines of the Mosel and Rheingau areas, there has always been a sniffy attitude to the south.
Sniff no more.
Baden is undergoing the same transformation that is revitalising southern France.
Tesco's Baden Pinot Noir (3.99) has all the delightful gentle fruit flavours of the Pinot  soft strawberry and fresh pear  but it is assertive enough to boast a pretty deep colour and a nip of tannin.
And one more remarkable transplant.
The Alsace tradition of making a fragrant dry Muscat has been gaining ground in southern France, and  of all places  in Israel.
Israeli wines, apart from the expensive Golan Heights wines, have generally been pretty poor  thick, sweetish, over-ripe and a million miles away from thirst-quenching.
So I was staggered to open Baron Wine Cellars' Dry Muscat and find a wine fizzing with sherbert-sharp freshness.
It is dry and it is almost aggressively refreshing  great starbursts of lime juice and orange peel and just a little grapeyness, creating a most unusual citrus cocktail for a warm, spring day.
Corney &amp; Barrow does this one too, at 4.97.
Food and Drink: WEEKEND BAKE
By THANE PRINCE
I WOULDn't want to forget the Monster Raving Loonies.
So this is for them.
Pre-heat oven to 180C / 350F, gas mk 4.
Grease and flour well two 8 in sandwich tins or a 13 in7 in 2 in tin.
Blend the cocoa with 2 tablespoons of the milk until creamy.
Place all the ingredients in the large bowl of an electric mixer and mix on low speed until combined.
Now turn to high speed and beat the batter for three minutes.
Divide the batter between the prepared tins and bake the sandwich tins for 25  30 minutes, the large cake tin for 40  45 minutes.
Allow to cool for 10 minutes before removing from tins and cooling on a rack.
Snooker: Davis' misses' semi-final
By Bob Holmes
STEVE DAVIS, the defending champion, lost his quarter-final clash with Ken Doherty in the most humiliating circumstances when he forfeited the deciding frame and the match on the ' miss' rule at the Benson and Hedges Irish Masters at Goff 's, County Kildare.
Davis failed to make contact with either of two clearly visible reds in three attempts when leading 37C36 in the ninth frame  and thus allowed Doherty safe passage into today's semi-finals.
Although warned by referee John Street of the consequences of a further ' miss' after two failures, Davis still could not hit either of the two balls and thus became the most notable victim of the controversial rule.
If the meticulous Davis was the last player one would expect to lose in such a manner, the six-times Masters champion retained his reputation for sportsmanship by the grace with which he accepted the verdict.
' Rules are rules, ' he said, ' and you have to abide by them.
I was well aware of what would happen and I just have to accept it. '
Doherty's opponent in today's semi-final is Mike Hallett, a surprise 5C1 winner over Jimmy White, whose recent form deserted him in a lacklustre performance when he could compile only one break of more than 30 compared to four by Hallett.
Boat Race: Wilson confident of ending the sequence Ian Ridley talks to the Light Blues coach, who believes his crew are technically superior
By IAN RIDLEY
THE minibus ferrying the Cambridge Boat Race crew around has a message stuck to its windscreen, probably more for the benefit of its occupants than as an exhortation to other motorists.
Just Do It, it says.
This could be the year they do, though they say that around the Cam every year and have been wrong for 15 of the last 16.
Listening to John Wilson, the Cambridge coach, though, the idea does grow that Oxford's run of consecutive victories  currently five  is about to end and that Cambridge will lift the trophy provided by Beefeater, the sponsors, for the first time.
' There is not a shred of doubt in my mind that we will win, ' he says.
' I think we are at least as strong as the Oxford crew physically and we have more experience, though the ages of the crews are almost identical.
We row technically better and in a more efficient way. '
For all his obvious bias, Wilson has a better overview of the race than most.
Last year he was coach to Oxford.
' They will have a confidence that they will win on the day, ' he concedes.
' They always have an ability to get the best out of the crew on the day. '
But Cambridge, Wilson insists, are not imbued with the loser's mentality.
' You get different people each year, ' he says.
' They are almost all from winning schools and programmes and are used to success.
We are the underdogs but that's not how we see it.
The desire of the Cambridge Boat Club to win this year began the evening they lost last year.
' We have got the best-trained Cambridge squad there has ever been, fitter and more technically able.
We have been more thorough in our approach to training and developing our technique. '
They have also made more use of video analysis.
' The best coach is the athlete looking at what he is doing, ' says Wilson.
Wilson grew up in rowing, rather than the Boat Race, having been born at Henley.
He modestly describes his competitive career as' not particularly special ', though he was good enough to win, in an eight, a silver medal in the world under-23 championships of 1983.
A back injury effectively ended his career seven years ago.
He immediately took to coaching, aiding the sculler, Carl Smith, to the world championship in 1986, and has already had three successful years with the Nottinghamshire County club.
He has also taken quickly to the Boat Race.
' If you ran a mile race, you would go off fairly quickly then settle at an even pace before building up towards the end.
If you did that in the Boat Race you would get left behind.
It is like running the first 100 metres like Carl Lewis, getting into gear but pushing really hard for the whole race as you go along.
It's not the most efficient way to do it.
' Then you have got the tactics of finding the right stream, getting the right cover from the wind.
It is a battle to press your opponents until they concede mentally.
' You pressurise, pressurise, pressurise until finally they don't think they can win the race.
Then, when they don't think they can win the race, they can't. '
It is clear the event has Wilson in its grip, despite his being associated with it for only two years.
' I will be devastated if we don't win, ' he admits.
' For both the universites, it's the only race of the year that really matters.
If you don't win the Boat Race, it might be a good year otherwise but it's not really a good year. '
Motor Racing: Mansell produces masterly display
By Timothy Collings in Sao Paulo
NIGEL MANSELL produced one of the most masterly qualifying drives of his 12-year Formula One career here yesterday as he claimed provisional pole position for tomorrow's Brazilian Grand Prix.
Championship leader Mansell, who dominated the season's first two races in South Africa and Mexico, is clear favourite to claim a third successive win after an almost contemptuous demonstration of his and the Canon Williams Renault team's superiority on the twisting, bumpy Interlagos circuit.
He was into his stride early in the session, dipping under world champion Ayrton Senna's record pole time set last year and finally settling for a best lap of 1min 15.703sec, at an average speed of 127.799mph.
Mansell's Williams team-mate, Riccardo Patrese, in the other FW14B, could not compete with him on this form and, struggling with oversteer, recorded a quickest lap of 1C17.591, 1.8sec slower.
That was still good enough for second spot on the overnight grid.
The expected and long-awaited revival of Honda Marlboro McLaren, who introduced their new MP4/7As, complete with fly-by-wire technology, did not materialise and, during a disappointing session, Senna span off.
Gerhard Berger was fifth quickest, with Senna back in ninth.
Michael Schumacher, of Germany, who finished third for Camel Benetton Ford in Mexico two weeks ago, was third quickest ahead of Pierluigi Martini's Dallara Ferrari.
Mansell said later: ' I think that lap was one of the best laps of my career.
But you must not be taken in by McLaren and Honda.
They have the ability to jump straight back at a moment's notice. '
Senna said: ' I feel it is premature it make any comment.
Let's see what happens tomorrow. '
Mansell's happiness was not matched by Britain's other drivers.
Perry McCarthy had one of the saddest days of his racing career.
The Essex driver, 29, who was named as one of two new drivers for the Andrea Moda team on Tuesday, was the victim of an administrative error by the International Motor Sports Federation and had his licence to drive in F1 withdrawn.
This prevented him from taking part in yesterday's pre-qualifying after he had waiting 10 years for the chance of an F1 drive.
Martin Brundle, in the second Camel Benetton Ford, had gearbox problems during the morning and had difficulty with the bumpy track in the afternoon session.
Rowing: Oxford have power to win yet again ROWING
Cambridge poised to take early lead in Boat Race but may not be able to stay there
By Geoffrey Page
AT LEAST three records will be established in today's 138th University Boat Race  Cambridge's Dirk Bangert will become the first German to row in the race, Andy Probert, their 38-year-old cox, will be the oldest ever competitor and Oxford's Boris Mavra will be the first Yugoslav Blue.
The United States Ambassador is guaranteed at least one American recipient when he presents the Beefeater Gin Trophy to the winners.
Three from the Cambridge crew and two from Oxford rowed for American Universities but, of these, the Justicz brothers, though of Czechoslovakian extraction, are British.
Each crew contains an Australian, both educated in England, and among the coaches of these cosmopolitan crews are a former East German, Jurgen Grobler, who advises Oxford, and Cambridge's Vladimir Bachev, a Czech-born Bulgarian.
Cambridge's boat is American, Oxford's German.
Both crews use American oars.
Oxford had more problems than Cambridge in settling their crew, suffering the trauma of the sudden death during training of John Hebbes, in whose memory their boat is named.
After an unsatisfactory performance in the Reading Head a month ago, Oxford brought in a relatively inexperienced stroke, Ian Gardiner, who learnt his rowing at Oxford, and the Dark Blues immediately became a force to be reckoned with.
Until then, Cambridge had looked set to record only their second win in 17 years and to take the trophy for the first time since its introduction by the present sponsors in 1987.
There are four old Blues in each crew, while Cambridge, with their most talented material in recent years, have six post-graduates, including their cox, to Oxford's four, though there is little difference in the average ages.
Both coaching teams have something to prove, Cambridge being led by John Wilson, who was last year's Oxford chief coach.
It will be quite a feather in his cap if Cambridge win today.
Oxford, without the services of Mike Spracklen, whose subtle genius as finishing coach helped them to victories for the previous five races, have Pat Sweeney, a regular Oxford coach since 1988, in charge.
Despite the changes, the pattern is familiar, Cambridge looking the more elegant, Oxford the more aggressive.
Once again the question is whether Cambridge's skill will be enough to overcome Oxford's greater punch.
In recent years, the punch has won.
Cambridge have shown themselves to be fast starters but Bangert has sometimes lacked the rhythm to capitalise on an early lead, while Oxford, though led in practice races, have rowed strong opponents down.
Oxford expect to be led but must keep in touch.
It is easier to visualise Oxford rather than Cambridge coming from behind, and here the experience of Oxford's Cal Maclennan, in his third Boat Race, and Peter Bridge could be crucial.
Both are candidates for the Olympic team and Bridge, though the youngest man in the race, rowed in last year's crew and competed at last year's world championships in a coxed pair steered by Probert.
The two coxes are well above average, Probert having considerable Tideway experience, while Elizabeth Chick, the third woman to steer for Oxford, has also impressed in practice.
Oxford remain marginal favourites but Cambridge have a slight weight advantage and could also have just enough extra pace to take charge.
However, Oxford's longer reach, excellent rhythm and exceptional fitness could prove decisive in the predicted headwind.
Way of the World: An end to science
By AUBERON WAUGH
THE more scientists write to The Times threatening to vote Labour unless we give them huge sums of money, the more many of us feel it is time to call a halt to science.
If Labour wins the election, I imagine all scientists will emigrate anyway, but a new Conservative government should give serious thought to my proposal for deporting any research scientist who asks for government money.
Recently we read in this newspaper how two ' remarkable new numbers' had been discovered by Atomic Energy Authority scientists using a super computer at the Harwell laboratory.
The first was the biggest prime number, 227,832 digits long, enough to fill nearly six pages of The Daily Telegraph.
The other, which is a new ' perfect number ' was 455,633 digits long, able to occupy more than 12 pages of The Daily Telegraph.
People complain about City prices and Leicester University class lists, but if we started printing all these digits even our most faithful readers would complain.
I wonder how much money we taxpayers paid for these completely useless pieces of information.
I myself, recently playing with a calculator, discovered the only number which, like the number one, is its own square root but which, unlike the number one, is not its own square.
The answer is 0.9 recurring, but I do not expect to be awarded great sums of public money for this discovery, which I freely give to the world; nor do I demand the overthrow of government and its takeover by a gang of lower-class hooligans.
The real reason why scientists should be seen as a menace is that they have reduced all our savings, our pensions' prospects, our records of tax payment, citizenship, even of our existence, to a knot on a piece of plastic.
Viruses can be applied which make nonsense of all information stored.
Vast fortunes and vast debts exist only in green digits displayed on a video screen, to be wiped out or distorted at will.
We are all at the mercy of these machines, which few people understand and nobody can control.
Way of the World: Show us the smears
By AUBERON WAUGH
LORD Spencer's death might have served to remind this country of the dread winter of 1978/1979 when rubbish was uncollected in the streets, the fire brigades were on strike, hospitals were picketed by auxiliary workers who demanded to approve all surgical operations, housewives fought each other over a cauliflower leaf and the dead lay unburied in every churchyard.
Many, of course, are too young to remember the last Labour Government.
That is why we prefer to meditate about Lord Spencer's death than worry about the election, when the nation will choose between a future of moderate prosperity and happiness, or one of bitterness and penury.
I would not try to guide the nation's choice.
Mr Benn, who often comes to our help at these moments, has promised that as soon as a Labour government under Mr Kinnock has looked at the books and realised the true extent of the crisis, it will realise the need for serious measures.
Foreign travel allowance will, presumably, be reduced once more to 50.
Control of all major decisions must be returned to the unions.
All council houses which have been ' bought ' by their tenants will be taken back into public ownership without compensation and handed over to new tenants with the greatest priority  disabled black lesbian single mothers with a criminal record, etc.
Tax, which will start at 59 per cent, will climb to such rates as have not been seen since Roy Jenkins with his 103 per cent ' top slice '.
None of which really helps us to make up our minds.
A slightly sinister element is that neither side is producing its smears.
It is rumoured that the Sun has some excellent smears on a senior Labour Shadow minister, the Mirror on a Conservative Cabinet minister.
The fear is that if they are published, Parliament will pass a law against smearing politicians.
This seems idiotic.
If all they have to dread is the passing of a law, why behave as if such a law already exists?
It is a denial of democracy to keep smears secret.
How can an electorate be expected to make up its mind until it has seen all the smears?
RAF VC sale
THE Victoria Cross won by a pilot during the first 1,000-bomber raid over Germany in May 1942 is expected to fetch up to 60,000 at Christie's in London on April 24.
Flg Off Leslie Manser, 20, died at the controls as his crew escaped from their crippled Manchester bomber.
He was one of 22 RAF VCs in the Second World War.
Family Life: Mum's home thoughts for abroad
By Laurie Graham
THE SENIOR Daughter is about to leave home.
We've been together now for 18 years and it don't seem a day too long, but I can see there does come a time when it's good for mother and child to view one another from a distance.
That time is now upon us.
I was 19 when I left home and went to university.
I tumbled out of the nest, where I'd been a cosseted only child, and into digs.
They turned out to be very nice digs, but I was still faced, for the first time in my life, with the practicalities of keeping myself fed and clothed, and getting to lectures and passing exams.
Frankly, I didn't have a clue.
I didn't make any enquiries about how the laundry got done until the day I ran out of clean tights.
My catering was limited to brewing endless mugs of insipid coffee and opening packets of custard creams.
But I got by.
In fact, within two years I had gone to the other extreme, washing shorts for lads who were old enough to do it for themselves, and baking cakes for the sole purpose of giving them away.
It was as though playing in the Wendy House was something I had to do before I could settle to weightier matters.
I vowed that my children would be better prepared when they left home.
From an early age I expected them to do things for themselves, and sometimes for me, and when they snivelled about their friends having kind and conscientious mothers who changed their sheets and made fruit pies, I said ' Some day, when you're at Sunderland Polytechnic and living by your wits, you 'll thank me. '
Well, the Senior Daughter isn't going to Sunderland to study.
She's going to Italy to be a Mother's Help.
No sooner had the news leaked out than my telephone started ringing.
I was in a fever of vicarious excitement, looking at street plans of Florence and trying to remember the name of a boy I'd met in the Boboli Gardens in 1961, but friends and relations were wanting to know whether I had really vetted the family, whether I'd like to hear a selection of au pair horror stories, and whether I'd made good any gaps in my daughter's domestic skills.
I've relied on someone else to do the vetting.
Apparently the family is not related to the Borgias; at least, not to any seriously worrying Borgias.
And we have talked about some of the extra-curricular activities that pretty young girls sometimes get invited to try.
I've seen enough middle-aged English husbands getting pink and sweaty over Scandinavian au pairs to know that lust can be an occupational hazard.
Which just leaves her domestic credentials to knock into shape, and now that they're under scrutiny I realise I've not done a very good job at all.
I said, ' I think you should know how to cook a few things, in case they ask you to feed the children, ' but she seemed to think that knowing how to make a Marmite sandwich would be enough.
I pressed on.
They probably don't have Marmite in Italy.
I could see her working out how many jars she'd be able to carry in her hand luggage.
I asked my friends who have had au pairs what they'd expected of them in the kitchen.
One of them, recently relieved of a large Norwegian and still visibly tense, said she'd lost interest in food and would settle for not having all the cup handles knocked off.
Another, a veteran who's been sorting out homesick Latins for years, said it was the greatest treat, once in a while, to get them to cook something just-a like-a Mama used to make.
' That's the thing, ' she said.
' Send her off with some traditional British recipes under her belt. '
So the problem is greater than I had first thought.
She can't cook, she doesn't especially want to learn to cook, and I have only the sketchiest notion of British cooking.
I could show her a bit of Indian, Chinese or Middle Eastern, all heavily adapted, because I like messing around with other people's culinary canons, but mainly I'd have to show her my version of Italian, and the liberties I've taken with that don't bear repetition.
Not in Tuscany, at any rate.
To show willing she has watched while I've prepared dinner this week.
I think she's picked up a few pointers, like how to chop an onion and how to dissolve an Oxo cube.
I was going to tell her about proper beef stock, but the girl has to walk before she can run.
Her repertoire now consists of Pasta with Meat Sauce, Pasta with Tomato Sauce, and Pasta with Onions but No Sauce.
If Yorkshire Pudding ever catches on over there it won't be any fault of mine.
Next week we're going to do omelettes, and how to say ' Please take your hand off my bottom. '
And if time permits we might do the Medicis, and a basic roast chicken.
If it comes to the worst, she does a very good Marmite sandwich.
Village Voice: The times they are a-changin'
By Byron Rogers
I GET mugged twice a year.
Each time the effect is the same; confusion followed by a peering at familiar things, then an inventory to work out what went this time.
Last Sunday I sat in a cold room with my daughter, the two of us reviling the malign fate which had robbed us of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, our weekly TV fix.
I shall never get used to the changing of the clocks.
Like middle age, this takes me unawares, for even when I have noticed that single paragraph on the front page of newspapers, I still can't work out what is happening.
I lie awake, trying to remember whether the clocks go forward or back, and what this means in terms of daylight or the day before.
All I know, like the protestors when the Julian became the Gregorian calendar, is that I must have missed something.
Either the afternoons are as endless as those in old folks' homes, which prompt the matrons to pin up Reality Orientation charts (' When is your birthday?
What are the names of your children? '), or night comes so abruptly it is as though someone has pulled down a blind.
Whatever happens, I always seem to end up watching The South Bank Show, something I never do normally; the changing of the clocks is forever associated with the Arts and adenoids.
I know there are other irreconcilables out there somewhere.
My father told me of an old lady who to the end of her days referred to ' Amser Duw ac amser Lloyd George, ' God's time and Lloyd George's time, for when the change was introduced during the Great War, there was chaos.
The towns accepted the new time, but not the country areas.
Farmers argued that as their day already began at sunrise, they would gain nothing and would also lose an hour for their workers insisted on finishing at the same time as town dwellers.
They refused to alter their clocks.
So in the same village, there would be two different sorts of time.
Post offices, railway stations and schools had the new, and the rest the old; in the cottages there was friction as children and their fathers turned up for meals at different times.
The women, as usual, bore the brunt of it, for everyone stayed up late, children refused to go to bed at night and men would not get up in the morning.
It must have been the most bewildering social change since the Enclosures, and yet I can find no reference to it in the village School Log.
Of course they got used to it, just as they got used to the closing of the railway, the death of the last squire, the demolition of the hall, the theft of the common land.
The story of a village is, contrary to popular belief, one of continual change.
Which is why I find myself brooding over an extraordinary view taken from the air.
Such photographs are very popular, and Parish Clerk Weekley has one which shows him sitting on his own roof.
Usually they get taken from 100ft up, but the one I have is a little different.
It was taken 300 miles up, from a satellite.
A town like Towcester is a little larger than my thumbnail, the M1 is a hairline fracture, and the only piece of geometry anywhere is the remorseless straight line, seen from space, of the old Roman Watling Street.
The scale is 1C75,000, the photograph is 20 ins by 16 inches, and its detail amazing.
I can see fields and reservoirs and a motorway service station, and, given the proper magnification, I could probably make out Parish Clerk Weekley still on his roof waiting for his next photocall.
Until I was lent this, I had not realised it was possible for members of the public to get their hands on such things.
You buy them from the Nigel Press Associates of Edenbridge in Kent; a print this size costs 60.
This presumably restricts their popularity, especially as no farmer is going to want one when his yard is the size of a blackhead.
Yet apparently members of the public are beginning to buy these pictures, which were previously bought only by geologists and oil companies.
I think they do so for peace of mind.
For this is the earth as no bird has ever seen it, and no man from any plane.
In this small picture, you look down on a couple of hundred thousand people and their bodies are as invisible as microbes.
You are as distant from their worries and their rows as any angel.
Look, you can just make out their bypasses and their parks, their racecourses and their research establishments.
At this height the street plans of their towns look like writhing maggots, and a puff of cloud conceals an entire farm.
All human activity seems so petty.
You can forgive them anything from this perspective; you can almost forgive them for changing the clocks.
